There are many people out there who are used to being the strong one. They have many friends and family members and listen to all they have to say. But 99% of the time, the strong one never gets heard. Strong ones are always there to listen to others because they know what it’s like to have no one to listen to them.
At first, it’s really awesome being there for everyone. You get to learn a lot about people; their issues; and why they are who they are. However, there comes a point in time where you get tired of listening to everyone’s issues. You begin to question your friendships, relationships and wonder if this is how it’s supposed to be.
- We have lost the true meaning of communication
You heard me right-- we have lost the true meaning of communication. Communication should be two-ways: A person should talk and the other person should listen-- not listen to respond. Sure. I get that you have something cool you want to share. I get that. But please-- before you share your thoughts, be sure you respond in terms of understanding… As in understanding what I have to say. That way, I know our conversation is on mutual terms.
2. You listen to them, but who’s there for you?
You get to the point where you gain all these new relationships and meet all these new people. At first, it sounds fun to meet up, get food, go out and make plans with your friends. But after a while, you begin to realize that it’s only you listening to their issues. They do 99% of the talking but never say or ask much about you when you’re with them. You listen to everyone. But who’s there for you?
3. It can get lonely
It’s true what they say: You can know tens and hundreds of people and still feel like the loneliest person in the world. You know a little bit (not everything) about everyone you know. You enjoy helping others and it gets tiresome after months and years of effort. You know so many people but no one really knows you. No one wants to put the time and effort to get to know you because you’re too busy knowing everyone else and being their for their support and issues. It makes me sad.
4. They talk TOO much about themselves
Okay. So you’re used to hanging out with these people and listening to them. You answer to everything they say and you’re polite, nice, and supportive. But there comes a point where they talk TOO much. Not about just anything, but about themselves and their lives. You start to wonder if you are the only person they have to rant to. You wonder if this is how a friendship should be. And it shouldn’t. You deserve to talk to someone who is interested in your life, too. Not someone who wants to hang with you because they need someone to talk to all the time.
5. They wait to respond
The biggest issue with today’s communication is that people do not wait to understand you-- they wait to respond. No one is no longer concerned with what you have to say. They are too busy waiting to say what’s on their mind because you mentioned a cool topic that reminded them of something that happened to them. The conversation is no longer a conversation. It is now one-sided and revolving around the person who seems to be self-centered; and it shouldn’t be like that.
6. You question if they know you
Sure, you know all about the people who you spend your time with. However, since they are too busy doing all the talking, you start to wonder if they really know you. Some of them may know bits and pieces about you, but it begins to get really lonely when you don’t think others know much about you like they should know. You feel like you’re there but not known or understood.
7. You become disappointed in the world
As time goes on-- the more you travel and explore new places and people-- you begin to become disappointed in this world. You accidentally eavesdrop on the conversations people are having at restaurants. Most of them are one-sided. The new people you meet-- the conversations you have with them seem to be one-sided, too. You surf the Internet and social media-- again, one sided-ness. You become disappointed in people and the world. Why can’t we bring back conversations and treat them like they used to be and should be?
8. You blame technology
In my opinion, ever since social media has been on the rise and has peaked within the past five years, I have noticed a trend: A lot of millennials post all about them-- on Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, and other social media sites. They are posting to gain recognition and build a sort of social status and fame. They don’t care what you’re doing on social media. They just care about how many likes a picture/post gets and how many views a status/picture update has. I truly believe social media is one of the factors as to why conversations have become one-sided. Social media has taught and made the majority of us attention seekers. Social media has not taught us to care about others and we need to reinforce understanding and caring in order to make communication real again and this world a better place.
9. You wonder if anyone cares about you
Sure, a lot of people ask, “How are you?” But that can get old real fast. You can tell them “how you are” all the time, every day; and after you finish telling them how you are, they will instantly talk about themselves and what is going on in their world. They may say a sentence or two in response to how you are, but it’s pointless for them to even ask when they want to talk about themselves more than ask about you.
10. Will anyone ever want to get to know you and listen to you?
Finally, it gets to that point when you wonder if there will be anyone out there who actually wants to get to know you and listen to you. With nearly 90% of all people being self-absorbed, it’s hard to find others who want to establish equal and mutual communication-- asking and listening on both ends. I’m sure there are people out there-- but for now, I shall continue to be there for others and wait until fate unites me with mutual people.
