Have you ever heard someone say "three wheeling a couple is uncomfortable, but being a third wheel to two best friends is worse?" Imagine that being your entire life. I've almost always been the third wheel - I was invited to tag along just because I had something they wanted, and I had begun to accept it, until I realized how miserable it actually made me to only be someone's friend when it's convenient for them. I'm not whining, I'm not complaining, I'm just fed up.

I'm never anyone's first choice for things. I don't get invited to go somewhere unless I make the effort. I'm never the person someone comes to when they have a problem, or big news - I don't even find out until weeks later from someone who heard it through the grapevine. My friends don't text me to go out to dinner, or to go shopping, or to do anything, really, unless I'm the one making the plans.

I'm not the friend that anyone waits for. We could have plans to go out, and by the time I get there, everyone has been there for a significant amount of time and I didn't even know when we were leaving. I've been left to fend for myself in bathrooms, fast food lines, the line at the bar because my friends just don't wait for me. They wait for each other, but not for me.

I'm not included in pictures unless I'm the one taking them - my friends take selfies and cute pictures with each other but I'm never in them, because I was conveniently in the bathroom, or ordering a drink. I get asked to take pictures of them, but never asked to be in them. I'm not in Snapchat stories, or on Instagram feeds, and I'm never in anyone's profile picture, and that's just how it is.

Don't get me wrong, I love my friends and I'd do anything for them, but that's also where I go wrong. I have a big heart and I can't tell anyone no, and I'm so tired of spending time by myself that I'd rather hang out with people who treat me badly than be alone. Not all of my friends are like that, though - some of them are just busy with their lives. They have houses and dogs and significant others and kids, and I get that.

I'm tired of being put on the back burner until someone needs me, and knowing that I could be dropped at any second and that everyone could go on with their lives without batting an eyelash is what upsets me. I am no one's first choice. I'm no one's best friend, or confidant, I'm no one's favorite person, and I'm simply treated like a space filler, and I'm done.