You are fresh in your relationship and your heart is probably pounding with excitement. Or, you are reading this because you are getting close to sealing the deal.
Either way, wherever you are, welcome to the beginning stages of your relationship; full of joy, and excitement. The pursuit is real, and the infatuation is heavy.
Relationships are a gift, and not something to be taken for granted and or expected. In the bible, 1 Corinthians 7 states: "God gives the gift of the single life to some, and the gift of the married life to others." God does not owe you a relationship, nor do you deserve one. I think this is something a lot of people have unwillingly ingrained in their mind because of the society that we live in. Sometimes, we can feel entitled to a relationship, especially if we have been waiting for something for so long. The point is, only God truly knows when and if you are ready for a relationship. He will bring someone alongside your journey, at the right time, knowing that it will only make you stronger.
I believe that relationships are meant to grow you; they were never meant to get into if you are bored and or looking for fun. It is not a game, and it is always worth fighting for.
LA LA LAND IS REALLY A THING
Picture yourself getting on an exciting roller coaster that seems never-ending. The ups and downs excite you, and the thrill of the new adventure is a complete adrenaline rush. It is an intense, but short-lived emotion. This is the beginning stages of your relationship. In your mind you truly believe that nothing could ever come between the two of you, and in your heart it seems impossible that you would ever get mad and or upset with your partner. Let's face it - infatuation has replaced common knowledge.
This isn't a bad thing. It is something we should try to practice throughout the course of the relationship to keep the passion fresh and alive. But, ultimately, if we lived in this phase forever, we wouldn't have any other relationships in our life due to the infatuation. Friends and family wouldn't be a priority because of the constant distraction of being so infatuated with the person that we are dating. Sometimes, couples get stuck in this phase and they pull away from the people around them. This is not healthy. It is important to remember that you need to have a balance in your life, and to keep in mind that a healthy relationship does not mean getting upset when the person you are dating is spending time with other people.
There does come a point when you will eventually get over the whole infatuation phase, and the flaws in your partner will truly be evident. Remember that it's okay, and it is completely normal.
RELATIONSHIPS TAKE WORK
This is the fun part. You get to go through obstacles that will only make you stronger as a couple. Healthy relationships consist of vulnerability. If there is a lack of vulnerability and emotional intimacy, your relationship will typically be on a some-what surface level. And usually, problems that you are stuffing down are not being brought to the table. What I have noticed from being in a relationship myself, and from personal experience-- the things I was once confident in while being single, had completely shifted when getting into a relationship. Sometimes insecurities come up, and it's an uncomfortable feeling. But I believe God brings up certain insecurities to refine you as a couple, and to also make you tackle these root issues before they stem into something more. Don't hold back in this area.
HAVING A VISION IS HEALTHY
It's really important to have a vision and a goal with your partner that you are wanting to work towards and chase after. It's okay to talk about this in the beginning of your relationship, especially if you are dating with a purpose. Making sure you are both on the same page when it comes to your destiny and your future plans is not a bad thing. You want to make sure your goals line up, so you are not individually heading in different directions. You can hold someone back by not talking about these topics, and you don't want to date for a long time and get to the point where you are completely in shock and or heartbroken once you finally do talk. Moving forward will be extremely difficult because of this. And ending the relationship will be twice as painful. Futuristic thinking in the beginning stages of your relationship is a good thing.
We need to gain a heavenly perspective on this topic, and try to see what it ultimately looks like from the eyes of the Father. We need to understand what this season was intended for. We need to learn to recognize the importance of this gift, not take it for granted. Relationships are definitely different from the outside looking in. Once you are in one, there is so much to learn. Whether it is to grow you or it is a forever thing, it is truly worth every season endured.
This article is featured in Relevant Magazine.