7 Tips To survive Ithaca's heatwave

A Semi-Satirical Guide To Surviving Ithaca's Heatwave

Heat in these parts is getting wild (thanks global warming!) so it's imperative to your college success that you follow (some of) these tips to survive in this weather.

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1. Stay Hydrated

This one is actually important , because water keeps your organs in working order.

2. Always Keep Ice Cubes with You

At least you'll have an excuse for those sweat stains! (Don't do this one, its gross)

3. Wear Lighter Clothes

The darker the clothes the more heat absorbed, thus making you hotter. Sorry, those dark-washed jeans are gonna have to wait until fall.

4. Stare Directly at the Sun

Research from a credible source states that staring at the sun raises Vitamin D levels. (WARNING WARNING THIS WAS A POOR ATTEMPT AT HUMOR, DO NOT STARE AT THE SUN!)

5. Use Aloe Vera

Aloe vera contains high amounts of vitamins and minerals which helps in the skin's healing process.

6. Wear Sunglasses

Just not indoors.

7. Wear Some Sunscreen

I don't care how invincible you think you are, put on some hecking sunscreen.

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Please Spare Me From The Three Months Of Summer Break When People Revert Back To High Schoolers

They look forward to swapping stories with their friends at the local diner, walking around their old high school with a weird sense of superiority, and reminiscing their pre-college lives.

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I know a surprising amount of people who actually couldn't wait to go home for the summer. They look forward to swapping stories with their friends at the local diner, walking around their old high school with a weird sense of superiority, and reminiscing their pre-college lives.

Me? Not so much. I don't mean to sound bitter. It's probably really comforting to return to a town where everyone knows your name, where your younger friends want you around to do their prom makeup, and where you can walk through Target without hiding in the deodorant aisle. But because I did this really annoying thing where my personality didn't really develop and my social anxiety didn't really loosen its grip on me until college, I have a very limited number of people to return to.

If you asked someone from my high school about Julia Bond, they would probably describe her as shy, studious, and uptight. I distinctly remember being afraid of people who JUULed (did you get high from it? was it illegal? could I secondhand smoke it and get lung cancer?) and crying over Algebra 1 in study hall (because nothing says fun and friendly like mascara steaks and furious scribbling in the back corner while everyone else throws paper airplanes and plays PubG Mobile).

I like to tell my college friends that if I met High School Julia, I would beat her up. I would like to think I could, even though I go to the gym now a third of the time I did then. It's not that it was High School Julia's fault that she closed herself off to everyone. She had a crippling fear of getting a B and an even worse fear of other people. But because she was so introverted and scared, College Julia has nothing to do but re-watch "The Office" for the 23rd time when she comes back.

Part of me is jealous of the people who came into their own before college. I see pictures of the same big friend groups I envied from a distance in high school, all their smiling faces at each other's college football games and pool parties and beach trips, and it makes me sad that I missed out on so many friendships because I was too scared to put myself out there. That part of me really, really wishes I had done things differently.

But a bigger, more confident part of me is really glad I had that experience. Foremost, everything I've gone through has shaped me. I mean, I hid in the freaking bathroom during lunch for the first two weeks of my freshman year of high school. I never got up to sharpen my pencil because I was scared people would talk about me. I couldn't even eat in front of people because I was so overwhelmingly self-conscious. I remember getting so sick at cross country practice because I ran four or five miles on an empty stomach.

Now, I look back and cringe at the ridiculousness because I've grown so much since then. Sure, I still have my quirks and I'm sure a year from now I'll write an article about what a weirdo Freshman Julia was. But I can tell who had the same experience as me. I can tell who was lonely in high school because they talk to the kids on my floor that study by themselves. I can tell who was afraid of speaking up because they listen so well. I can tell who was without a friend group because they stand by me when others don't. I can tell who hated high school, because it's obvious that they've never been as happy as they are now.

My dislike for high school, while inconvenient for this summer, might be one of the best things to happen to me. I learned how to overcome my fears, how to be independent, and how to make myself happy. I never belonged in high school, and that's why I will never take for granted where I belong here at Rutgers.

So maybe I don't have any prom pictures with a bunch of colorful dresses in a row, and maybe I didn't go to as many football games as I should have. Maybe I would've liked pep rallies, and maybe I missed out on senior week at the beach. But if I had experienced high school differently, I wouldn't be who I am today.

I wouldn't pinch myself daily because I still can't believe how lucky I am to have the friends that I do.

I wouldn't smile so hard every time I come back from class and hear my floormates calling me from the lounge.

I wouldn't well up when my roommate leaves Famous Amos cookies on my desk before a midterm, or know how to help the girl having a panic attack next to me before a final, or hear my mom tell my dad she's never seen me this happy before.

If I had loved high school, I wouldn't realize how amazing I have it in college. So amazing, in fact, that I never want to go home.

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I Sorted The 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine' Characters Into Their Hogwarts Houses

Ever wonder where each character would fall? Look no further.

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I recently started watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine and I thought about how their personalities overlap quite nicely with the four Hogwarts houses, so I did a little research. I looked up to see if other people had seen this comparison too, and I wasn't let down. While the few posts I read did line up characters with one of the four houses from Harry Potter, I disagreed with many of their pairings. Taking their points into account, I made my own list I think the Sorting Hat itself would agree with!

Jake Peralta - GRYFFINDOR

There's no doubt about this one. Jake is a goofball while also being a very good detective. A lot of his pranks and shenanigans remind me of the Weasley twins and I'm sure I'm not the only one. Gryffindor is known for their bravery, and Jake consistently fights to protect his friends and coworkers, not to mention all of Brooklyn.

Captain Ray Holt - RAVENCLAW

Captain Holt is resourceful and knowledgeable, probably because he's had a lot of experience. As the show progresses and the characters get closer, he starts to show his more fun and competitive side. That being said, he usually sticks to being monotone and having a cold and serious demeanor.

Gina Linetti - SLYTHERIN

Gina is honestly one of my favorite characters. She tells it like it is–at least, how she sees it–and doesn't apologize for being herself. Slytherins are very much about self-preservation and taking care of yourself before others, which is what Gina typically does. She's manipulative to get things to go her way, but it's (almost) always for the greater good of the 99.

Charles Boyle - HUFFLEPUFF

This is in no sense meant to be derogatory: Hufflepuffs are often painted in a negative light, but Charles is Hufflepuff through and through. He is a little odd but we love him anyway. He is a gentleman who cares very much for his friends and is very loyal to the precinct. Boyle jumping in front of a coworker to take a bullet–or two–exemplifies this perfectly.

Sergeant Terry Jeffords - GRYFFINDOR

While Terry goes through periods where he seems to be the most cowardly of them all–which is for comedic effect, obviously, because Terry Crews is a large, buff man–he always overcomes his fears and often saves the day. He embodies what a true Gryffindor is in his bravery and leadership.

Amy Santiago - RAVENCLAW

She strives for the approval of her Captain and is usually the only one thinking logically. She's smart and resourceful, while at times being extremely competitive. Ravenclaw's value education and learning, which is exactly what Amy wants. She seeks the Captain as a mentor and is always trying to best Jake and the others with the next bet.

Rosa Diaz - SLYTHERIN

She is secretive and cunning, but mostly she's a badass. Slytherins are best known for their ambition and cunning, but they're also known for having a high need for self-preservation. This instinct can also be extended to close friends and family, as seen with the Malfoy family. Rosa does what is best for herself and doesn't let anyone push her–or her coworkers/friends–around.

Scully & Hitchcock - SLYTHERIN

At first, I was going to sort both Hitchcock and Scully into Hufflepuff, then I found a Reddit post that convinced me otherwise. These two definitely give off Crabbe and Goyle vibes, back when Malfoy would joke about them stuffing their faces and not knowing if they could read.

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