Outgrowing Friendships Is A Necessary Part Of Life

Outgrowing Friendships Is A Necessary Part Of Life

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Why do friendships naturally begin to gravitate away from each other? Why is there an emptiness within the bond that used to be filled with excessive passion? Why does effort suddenly disappear? Why do we lose the pieces that once kept us together?

It is a great challenge for me to look at people who were once the reasons behind my heart being so consumed in love, without tears filling my eyes to the point of exhaustion simply thinking of the friendship we used to possess. There are many moments I cannot understand why, when, and how we ended up going in different directions without the guidance we once craved and needed from each other. It seems impossible to release the specialness we shared. I cannot fathom the fact that we have been walking in parallel routes without even a glimpse of each other. I wonder if there's anything I could have improved upon to save us. Or were we not meant to be rescued?

Appreciate that you are engaging in internal growth, even if it is at the cost of separation from those you love deeply.

The timelines of our lives do not always match with those around us. Sometimes as we fall into the pits of despair, our friends find inescapable love. Sometimes as our friends grieve burdensome pains, we begin to visualize ourselves in a new light. As our pathways begin to part due to our progressions and setbacks occurring at diverse times, we fail to acknowledge the extents of our personal developments because we are too invested in analyzing a friendship that was not meant to last. When we lose such friendships we take our strengths for granted. We fail to think of the person we have become throughout the course of these attachments.

You have changed in beautiful ways and you should shy away from seeking to be the person you used to be for the sake of holding onto old friendships. You are experiencing a difference within yourself, and not everyone will understand such a difference, nor will their own differences connect with yours like they once have.

Do not overthink distanced friendships or it will lead you to endless self-doubt and unneeded frustration.

We drive ourselves insane by shifting such blame upon ourselves when we are left on an empty road full of questions. What could I have done to create such a disconnect within this friendship? Did I say something so exceedingly wrong to cause this hurtful shift? Did I bother this person with an unintentional act of thoughtlessness? Could I have been a greater friend? When we question, we doubt ourselves in ways we do not deserve. Recognition is needed to conquer the unsettling thought that there is not always a causation behind a drifting of individuals. Push yourself to stop searching for something that does not exist. You will find yourself on a path of creating the oddest explanations to help justify such a separation, when you should acknowledge that some questions do not have answers.

As you contemplate if the connection still remains, acknowledge that the underlying meaning of this contemplation means that the bond has disappeared. As life changes, people change, and as people change, their most valued friendships come to a close due to the similarities fading. Although this is a saddening concept to grasp, it is one that everyone should be prepared to experience. Sometimes there is no reason behind a dying connection aside from the interruptions life brings. We wrongly search for an exact understanding of why specific friendships do not feel as exciting or as effort-filled as they once were. But rather, we must seek to appreciate a friendship for all that it has consisted of, and learn to be OK with the fact that some relationships are not designed to be repaired when all that is left to discuss is the past versions of ourselves.

Some bonds are meant to be broken in order to find ourselves.

This brokenness is the price we pay for pursuing our journeys truthfully. When we come closer to a peace of mind and firm comprehension of who we are destined to be, we lose people who once meant the world to us because our visions, purposes, and values do not correlate. BE WILLING TO LET GO OF FRIENDSHIPS THAT ARE PREVENTING YOU FROM FINDING YOUR TRUE SELF, EVEN IF THE LOVE AND CARE IS STILL VERY PRESENT. DO NOT ALLOW DISTRACTIONS FROM ALL THAT LIES AHEAD OF YOU. JUST AS THERE IS BEAUTY AND LOVE IN HOLDING ON, THERE IS JUST AS MUCH BEAUTY AND LOVE IN LETTING GO. DO NOT FEAR AN UNCOMFORTABLE FUTURE WITHOUT PEOPLE BY YOUR SIDE WHO YOU FEEL YOU NEED, FEAR ONE THAT WITHHOLDS YOU FROM GROWING! Sometimes we must let go of others in order to hold onto ourselves.



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To My Best Friend Who Doesn’t Know How Strong She Is

Always better together.
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To the one I know I will always have by my side,

First off, thank you. Thanks for dealing with all my shit: my mess, drama, tears, and weirdness. There are so many reasons why you are my best friend; you are funny, amazing, kind and unbelievably supportive. I am beyond lucky to have someone that gets me and has been there with me through the best of times and the worst of times.

You are strong

Life is difficult; I think we have both realized that by now. Whether you believe me or not you are kicking everything being thrown at you in the ass. You have been through everything and more and have always come out of it a stronger, and better person. You are never alone and you know that; we have been there for each other for years and that will never end.

You are special

I have never met anyone with a bigger heart than you; you sympathize with anyone that comes to you for advice. You take things to heart and look at the world in a unique and beautiful way. You appreciate the little things in life, watching Dance movies with your mom, a late night snack at Taco Bell, driving with the top down and dancing like no one is watching.

You are beautiful

You are way more beautiful than you think. You’ve got softness to you that is calming, a smile that is contagious, and a gorgeous girl with so much to offer. You are filled with love and compassion, an amazing writer, dancer and overall an amazing and beautiful person.

You can get through anything

I know you are going through a hard time right now, but look at how far you’ve come. You have gone through way worse and you will get through this just like you have in the past. You will become even more powerful than you already are. You are experienced and that’s part of what makes me love you so much. We have gone through a lot together and we know that whatever life throws at us we can handle it.

I am always here

Your hardship is my hardship, but keep your head up high just like I know you can. You have so much love in your life, from your family, your friends and me. I love you, I have never had a friend like you and I am so grateful every day because of it. You are going to get through this. You are going to get through it because you are, powerful, you are beautiful and you are strong.

~Written with love and appreciation for the most amazing friend I could ever ask for~

Cover Image Credit: Sarah Richman

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To My Ex-Best Friend

Everything doesn’t last forever!

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In the beginning, it was a great friendship! I thought it was going to last for years and even forever. I could see you being a part of my future like being a part of my wedding, around my children, etc.

There were different signs in the beginning, but I never wanted to pay attention to them. I kept making excuses for situations I knew was wrong.

I had never had a friend like you before, so I wanted to maintain it.

Little did I know, it wasn't a friendship that I needed to stay in. It constantly felt like a full-time job trying to be your friend, and it often seemed like you never appreciated it.

There were many reasons that made me come to the conclusion that this was not a friendship that needed to last for too long.

1. I was always the one that initiated for us to hang out

2. Once you got another boyfriend, you acted like you no longer needed a friend anymore

3. You constantly put me on the back burner until you needed something or someone to talk to

4. Our friendship constantly made me feel like I was on an emotional roller coaster

5. I wouldn't miss talking to you whenever we would stop talking because you were rude to me

  • If I can stop talking to you easily and not miss you, then that means our friendship wasn't that significant as I thought it was.
  • I don't hate you, and I don't resent you. In fact, I thank you and appreciate what you did. Although it didn't end well, I still got to experience having a close friend for a period of time. Because of you, I also know what I want in a friend and what I won't tolerate in a friendship!

    I wish nothing but the best for you, and I hope you find a friend just like you!

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