A year ago, on a Saturday night, I sat on my bed in my dorm room, pretending to have something to do. The first weekend of college classes had come and gone, my roommate had gone home for the weekend, and my thoughts were closing in. Homesick, lonely and tired, I sat in my room and listened to my floor mates singing Disney songs across the hall. I didn’t have the energy to go and join them, but at least their voices gave me some sort of companionship. I wasn’t hopeless. I knew that I would make friends soon, that I wouldn’t be so lonely. But in those few hours, it wasn’t enough to have the hope of companionship. I wanted someone to understand and know me right then, without explanations or awkward questions about my major.
In time, the friendships came — better and stronger than I had ever hoped for. But navigating friendships and your place in them always takes work, and as students return to college campuses, so do the social struggles. School cafeterias bring out all of the fears and possibilities of social life, freshmen feel out all the new places and people, and groups of friends form.
Sometimes, though, finding such a group of friends or even one true friend is a momentous task. We all long for these kinds of unhindered relationships — the camaraderie and sharing of secret selves and mutual enjoyment in movies or books or sports. But we’re not all outgoing, making good first impressions is hard and sometimes you just don't seem to run into the right people. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses when it comes to relationships. But don’t fear—just because you make friends differently than others or are hard to get to know doesn’t mean you don’t have something to offer. Be aware that there is not one way to make friends in college and that it is going to look different for everyone. To help you out, here are some advantages to several different friendship styles.
The Groupie
You have one group of friends, and you do everything together. The inside jokes, the late-night food runs, the reliability of knowing they’ll always be there — you have it all. You’re practically like family. You have the same interests and thoughts and patterns; there’s nothing more comforting.
The Floater
You just love a lot of people! Diversity is your strong point. You can enjoy and relate to many groups of people, and so you spread your time as evenly as possible among your friends. All your different kinds of friends bring out different parts of yourself. With some people, you can have intellectual conversations, with others, go on strenous hikes. Some will make you laugh till your sides hurt, some comfort you when you're hurt, but whatever your mood, you'll know someone who will make it better simply by their presence.
The Best Friend
You have one kindred spirit, so why would you need anyone else? The two of you do everything together; you’re practically twins. The singularity of your choice makes it easy to sync schedules and spend as much possible time in each other’s company, whether studying or watching movie or going out for coffee.
The Independent
You’re a man with a plan, and your vision and dedication for your life inspire and motivate people wherever you go. Your self-sufficiency enables you to be comfortable and confident in any situation, whether sitting by yourself at lunch or striking up a conversation with a stranger. You pursue people with the same single-minded decisiveness that you carry into all aspects of your life, so when you want to have friends, you'll find them. And if you want some alone time, then you'll feel free to carve out some space for that too.
The Follower
Like the floater, you get along with a lot of different kinds of people because you’re willing to go along with whatever. People appreciate you because you’re a good supporter, listener, and up for good fun anytime! You're trustworthy, sweet and extremely loyal. When you find the right friends who will lead you into all things beautiful and adventurous, you'll stick with them for life.
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