I Found More Than A Simple 'Date' On Tinder

Tinder Might Just Be A Dating App, But I Found More Than A Simple 'Date'

Lots of people don't really believe that tinder is a place for finding meaningful relationships. Little do they know, it has the potential to do exactly that.

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Tinder is a place full of catfish, horn dogs, and sometimes even weirdos.

So many would think that it is an app mainly used for hookups, right?

Well, I'm one of the people that used it to genuinely try to find a relationship, and I basically had no idea what I was doing so that was a pretty big plus.

I matched with lots of people that I found fairly interesting from what I've read/seen about them so far.

But I didn't really feel like any of them were the one.

I met a ton of cool new people, don't get me wrong. But none of them really made me feel a wow factor, ya know?


But suddenly, that changed.


I met a very special character.

We connected almost instantly.

Talking just felt so right, and I was super excited whenever they would message back almost instantly.

This special character had the coolest view on life itself and I just wanted to keep picking at that fantastic brain because there was so much that I needed to know.

They were the perfect example of an old soul trapped in a teenagers body.

We would talk about absolutely everything, from existential crises to simple things, like what we both had for lunch.

I remember saying how it was the first day of spring, and I was feeling pretty sad for some reason, but I said "no no no, my mood can't be sad, we have to celebrate! it's the first day of spring so happiness is mandatory!"


He responded to my worries with this:

"Happiness is everywhere

Even in the sadness

Think

Isn't it kinda amazing that you are alive, right here and now, experiencing that sadness?

These little moments help to make us who we are

Enjoy them, don't fight them

Acknowledge them, learn from them, and grow

Sorrow is the soil of a fertile heart

And remember

When you get through the sorrow

You can bring joy to others

I think that's the whole big meaning of it all

To just love and do good

Fill your and other's hearts"


I have never been so starstruck by a human being before. I was at a loss of words.

This special character was extremely waking in this harsh world, and I appreciated that.


After a few more of these special moments, we finally exchanged numbers.


As we continued talking, I started to feel pretty insecure. Why would this phenomenal human being talk to me, of all people? I just didn't understand it.

He threw me some reassuring words, and all of my negative feelings just disappeared.

This human really knew what to say, and when to say it.


We continued our conversations, and a few weeks later, we started to express certain hearty feelings.

I would go to him whenever I felt some type of way and he would always comfort me.

This relationship has been doing nothing but growing since the very beginning.

"I do believe things happen to fall into our life for a reason, and more and more it seems we found each other for a reason past simple coincidence."


Yes, Tinder can be a very scary place.

But I would at least give it a chance. It might lead to such beautiful relationships with fantastic people.

It led to my finding this very special character in my life, Adam.


I will forever be grateful for our meeting, Adam.

See you soon. xx

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Here's Why Tinder Sucks

"Guys, please keep your shirts on."
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In today’s world, practically every blossoming relationship seems to begin through Tinder, or Bumble, or whatever other dating app people are using these days. When a friend tells me that they have a date, or that they have met someone they are interested in, more often than not it seems they have met this person through an online dating app.

Now I don’t know about you all, but I grew up with a father who told me never to meet strangers online through a dating site (Before the time of dating apps). And don’t get me wrong, I have gone on probably more than my fair share of dates from Tinder (Sorry dad). Actually, some of them even turned out pretty well for a while. Hell, I even met my current boyfriend through Tinder. But even with those few good experiences, they are wildly outweighed by the countless negative ones I have had at the hands of this app.

I’m sure many would agree that Tinder is often known to be ‘the hookup app.’ People always seem to be surprised to learn that someone has actually started a successful relationship through there. Perhaps this continues…

As a female I can’t quite account for what it is like for guys… but for girls on tinder, it can be a very creepy part of the internet. After a few weeks on Tinder I had resorted to putting in my profile that I was not interested in just hooking up with anybody. Do you have any idea how many messages I received following that asking to hook up? SO MANY. It was as if people found some kind of pride in being the one to ‘change your mind.’

Another question I got asked a lot was why I wasn’t interested in random hookups. As if it was strange not to be. Many people thought I was the odd one out for going on Tinder looking to actually date. Which I suppose is fair to an extent, but still. Sadly even many guys who claimed that they wanted to date as well ended up quickly changing their perspective once meeting up for said date.

Then there is the fact that people can be just plain rude. One person I talked to didn’t even start off the conversation with a hello. Instead he jumped right into a rant about how useless my major was and how I was wasting my time paying for the school i was attending. The single purpose behind his message was to put me down, when he could have simply swiped left and not had to bother.

With an app like this people are judging others solely on their looks. Even if there is something written in a person's’ profile more often than not it is usually not made of anything very substantial. It only takes a moment for most people to decide if the are attracted to the person, and make the choice to either swipe left or right. As if a grand total of 5 pictures could tell you whether or not you’re interested in someone.

It is also, unfortunately, not uncommon for people to get mad that you decide you are no longer interested. Even after nearly a year off the app I still get frequent messages from people asking if I’m still single, who then somehow get upset when they find out I’m not. How does that make any sense?! Oh, and we can’t forget when people follow that up with a list of things you’re missing out on by not dating them. Well, sorry to say I wasn’t going to wait around for a virtual stranger to decide on a convenient time to date me.

The worst part is that growing up we are taught to not meet a man online because he could claim to be 16 but actually be 40. We are taught that older men can lead you on and you may find yourself in serious danger.

But while those types of people surely still exist, what is sadly far more common in today’s dating life is something that children entering the world of dating are not warned to watch out for.

Instead of 40 year old men trying to lure in underaged girls and boys, we are facing people much more manipulative than that, other teenagers. On the outside they seem safe, and just like us. But really that is the ultimate disguise. So many people will say anything to get you to bend to their will, though that is not exclusive to Tinder.

I hear from many guys who use the app that Tinder often isn’t the greatest place for them either, as often times they have more trouble getting matches or responses the way that girls do. But with all of the other crappy people on there, can you really blame them?

To be fair I have actually a fair amount of wonderful people through Tinder. Some of which I have been able to build great friendships with over time. I’ve been able to reconnect with people I once knew but hadn’t spoken to in years. Overall I can’t say I necessarily regret my tinder experiences, but in the future I’ll probably be sticking to old fashion style dating.


Some Tinder advice:

  1. Guys, please keep your shirts on. I promise you it’s really not getting you any further with matches to have all shirtless pictures on your profile.
  2. Not everyone you meet is sex crazed with hormones running high looking for someone to hook up with.
  3. Not everyone is going to find a connection with you. If they tell you they aren’t interested, simply move on.
  4. Be honest about what you want. It will save everyone a lot of time.
  5. It doesn’t take much effort to be kind to people. Please, put in that effort.
Cover Image Credit: pxhere

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If You Catfish Your Boyfriend To 'Test' If He'll Cheat, The Problem In Your Relationship Is YOU

News Flash: this is why (when you aren't together anymore) he says you are crazy.

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Being in a relationship is not an easy feat. There are many things that are important to have a successful relationship. Trust, honesty, and loyalty are just a few to mention.

A few days ago I was scrolling through Facebook (does this show my age? oof) and came across a video: "CATFISHING my Boyfriend to see if he cheats.. (you won't believe this)" obviously I clicked on it because I was curious. The girl in the video talks about this 'prank' she's going to play on her boyfriend.

First wrong: This is not a prank.

She explains how she has made a fake Instagram account; She made posts using another girl's pictures, followed a bunch of people and then followed her boyfriend.

Second wrong: Using someone else's identity.

She then messaged her boyfriend using this fake Instagram account trying to persuade him into Netflix and chilling. When he replied saying she was cute she started to cry... It went on and on but basically, he ended up proving to her that he would not do that to her.

I'm sorry, WHAT?

OK, let's be real for a second. If you have any need to do this, THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG. Trust, honesty, and loyalty are some of the most important things in a relationship... having the need to do this literally just shows that those three things do not exist. But for the sake of it, say you do it.

Only two things can happen...

Scenario one: He cheats (plans to cheat).

If this happens, it probably just proves something that you knew deep down and just didn't want to admit it. So you break up with him. Well, the other girl still exists, but he's going to find out it is you because she does not actually exist. So then you are the one to blame in his eyes because he "would have never done it", he "just thought it was you" and was "testing you". Either way, your relationship is over and has more issues than you already thought.

Scenario two: He does not cheat.

Congrats!!! He's not a cheater. BUT you have issues. You obviously have no trust and do not respect him enough to ask. You also are not being honest in the least bit because are you going to tell him? He will think you are crazy if you tell him. In addition to those issues, you have no sense of loyalty and must have had a reason to test his loyalty... you got a hill to climb.

Either way, you do not look that great and just make the "DUDE, SHE'S CRAZY" actually true. But you know, to each their own.

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