On a Tuesday night at 11:00 p.m. I impulsively booked a flight for 7:15 a.m. the following morning and was in New York by 1:00 p.m. It's now Thursday of the same week. Until now, I've never been to New York.

Guess what, everyone? I love New York. Like, really love it. It's been everything I've ever imagined with the exception of one thing -

Times Square.

More specifically, Times Square at night. It's loud, it's flashy, and it's infested with slow-moving touristy gawkers. My eyes don't know where to look because I'm literally surrounded by screens. Literally. Surrounded. I mean WHAT'S THE POINT?!

So bright.

So much money spent on electricity.

So many people all walking in different directions and moving more slowly than most nursing home residents.

Hands down my least favorite thing I've experienced since the Fourth of July two years ago when I had food poisoning from IHOP.

So, without further ado, here's a short list of things I'd rather do than walk through Times Square.

1. Eat a piece of deli turkey after it fell on the kitchen floor.

2. Break my leg the day before I move into a fifth floor apartment with no elevator.

3. Go back to my twenty-first birthday and be the designated driver.

4. Listen to the Hannah Montana theme song on repeat for a week.

5. Host a sleepover birthday party for my sixth grade sister and her friends on a work night.

6. Clean a Taco Bell bathroom for free.

7. Get a mammogram.

8. Get food poisoning from IHOP again.

9. Get bird poop in my hair.

10. Fall off a treadmill at the gym with every hot guy you've ever met watching.

11. Die.

Maybe that list is a bit on the dramatic side, but I can't help the way I feel.

But really New York, I love you. Never change. ️