Swipe left. Swipe left. Ew, definitely swipe left. Another shirtless selfie? Definitely swipe left. Woah woah, who are you with those blue eyes and a puppy? Swipe Right. Anddddd we have a match.
We have all been there, right? I have been there more than a few times. Okay, they haven't all had blue eyes...or a puppy...but you get it. For those of you that are curious, let me tell you how this will inevitably go.
This is what is called "The Fizzle."
Yes. Okay, great. We matched. Now, this is Bumble so the ball is in my court. Cool. Act cool. What do I say?
"Nice hair?" Ew, no.
"Is that your real puppy or did you rent it?" Gosh, please don't say that.
":) you're hawt." No. NO!
"Hey, is it a package deal?" Wait, he might not take that the right way. The puppy. I mean the puppy.
"Hey there, how are ya?" Sure. Go with that.
That is what you go with. That is your default. You wait a few minutes...or hours...for a response. I mean, he is probably (HOPEFULLY!) at work. He will respond afterward around 5 saying, "Doing well, thank you. How was your day?" Phew, now we are getting somewhere. You learn that he did, in fact, just get off of work and did not have a chance to check his phone during his busy day at the office. You know, at the office in some semi-important young professional job. #yopro
You learn that the kid in his photos is his sister's child who he spends time playing catch with. Your heart melts a little.
Cringing at the drinking photo on his profile, you learn about the fraternity he was in at < insert big school here >.
After a few days of the back and forth, y'all decide its time to meet for a beer. It's a harmless after-work beer. He lets you pick the spot. He wants you to be comfortable and in your element. Man, what a gentleman.
You meet for a beer and you are surprisingly into him. Texting your BFF from the bathroom, you are impressed by his outfit and that his eyes are better in person. He held the door and kept his hands to himself. Better than the last Bumble guy, am I right?
He walks you to your car, gives you a sweet little peck and asks "When can I see you again?" Y'all agree on this coming Saturday, a nice dinner downtown,...but, you know....not too nice.
During the time between then and Saturday, you send each other sweet little texts during the day. Snapchatting a few times here and there. You debate deleting your Bumble, but not quite yet, sweetheart. Let's wait this one out a few more days. You have been here before.
He picks you up for dinner. Maybe even opens the car door for you. He told you he thought about getting flowers, but didn't want it to be too much too soon. You smile and say, "It's the thought that counts."
Dinner goes well. Y'all make a plan to meet your friends out for a few drinks after to lighten the mood and let loose a little. And, hey, you are feeling pretty good about this one.
Your friends like him enough. Not too hot, not too cold on him, but he is nice enough. You realize they are probably right. Cute, but not much more.
Sunday comes, you text a little here and there. He goes "out of town" for whatever reason. You see a Snap or two from him. Text a little Monday. A little less Tuesday. A lot less Wednesday. #Fizzled
And by Thursday, there is a new guy with green eyes and a boat. You swipe right, you match. To fizzle or not to fizzle? Scroll back to the top to see what will happen.
