The other night, I was perpetually bored and home alone so I decided to do what any other sane, 18-year-old girl would do - I watched the classic Disney Channel Original Movie The Cheetah Girls. After singing my heart out to the opening musical number, "Together we Can," I began to realized so many things about the cinematographic masterpiece. I needed to share these thoughts and feelings somehow, so I thought the best way to do it was to my three followers on Twitter.

It all started with the biggest realization of them all...

I TOTALLY FORGOT THAT RAVENS NAME WAS GALLERIA IN CHEETAH GIRLS
— The Skinny Jew (@TheFakeNikksAss) July 21, 2015

...and...

they actually all had the most insane names. this is ridiculous. great music, ridiculous plot
— The Skinny Jew (@TheFakeNikksAss) July 21, 2015

The names of the characters truly shocked me, since I never realized how crazy they were until twelve years after the initial debut. Just so you remember: Raven's name was Galleria/Bubbles, Adrienne Bailon was Chanel/Chichi, Sabrina Bryan was Dorinda/Doe, and the ever so irrelevant Kiely Williams as Aqua. Which brings me to my next tweet:

Aqua was so irrelevant
— The Skinny Jew (@TheFakeNikksAss) July 24, 2015

The remaining hour an a half was filled with an equal balance of nostalgia and skepticism about the popularity of the film series. Although the songs had their natural, catchy, upbeat nature, the plot of the movie was absolutely ridiculous.

The revelation to 18-year-old me that Raven not the hero, rather the villain of the story:

wait galleria was such a bitch omg
— The Skinny Jew (@TheFakeNikksAss) July 21, 2015

Remembering the tragedy that was "All Around the World" by Jackle Johnson, where they all wore masks:

THE PANDA SONG
— The Skinny Jew (@TheFakeNikksAss) July 21, 2015

During one of their dance scenes I noticed this bad boy:

the cheetah girls were basically the backstreet boys with vaginas
— The Skinny Jew (@TheFakeNikksAss) July 21, 2015

And finally seeing Raven in that pink jumpsuit and knowing that the end was very near:

so convenient that that all happened to have been wearing that sweatsuit on the same day
— The Skinny Jew (@TheFakeNikksAss) July 21, 2015

After the movie ended, I became a little sentimental...

I would love a where are you now of the cast of the cheetah girls
— The Skinny Jew (@TheFakeNikksAss) July 21, 2015

absolutely no one but zac effron ever graduated from the DCOM world
— The Skinny Jew (@TheFakeNikksAss) July 21, 2015

...and it got real deep real fast:

everyone I ever cared about in elementary school is completely irrelevant these days
— The Skinny Jew (@TheFakeNikksAss) July 21, 2015

I began to remember the legends of my childhood:

my children will never know about Cristy Carlson Romano
— The Skinny Jew (@TheFakeNikksAss) July 21, 2015

And even began to remember my then taste for men...

raven totally maks on some '03 hot rocker dude
— The Skinny Jew (@TheFakeNikksAss) July 21, 2015

...and what I used to do with every issue of TeenBop...

I definitely had a poster of him on my wall
— The Skinny Jew (@TheFakeNikksAss) July 21, 2015

and what my sister (who I then shared a room with) would do to her side:

my sister had one of Corbin Blue, she has a strange sort of jungle/ Jew fro fever
— The Skinny Jew (@TheFakeNikksAss) July 21, 2015

After that was over, I went to sleep with both a regret and an appreciation for what I had just done. I regretted watching it, as my memory of the movie I once loved so much is now tainted forever. However, I appreciated watching it, as I realized I still knew every single word to every single song and it still is one of my favorite movies of all time.

I suggest you all go watch the movies of your childhood and have the best time ever making fun of Kenny Ortega's choreographies.