As many of my frequent readers are aware, I have struggled with trying to find my person in the world. I even got to the point where I decided to download a dating app, trying to connect with people who might just be my future husband. However, one Sunday and a conversation with my cousin changed my mindset completely.
One Sunday at Port City Community Church, Pastor Mike gave a sermon that felt like it was just for me. He talked about how we need to put effort into what is important to us; "We need to cultivate our land and help the trees grow in order to receive the fruit." That message hit me in a different way that Sunday. As soon as I got into my car, I deleted the dating app and strived to better my relationship with God instead of finding a husband.
This past Saturday, I went to a concert with my cousins and their friends in New Bern, North Carolina. After the concert, my cousin and I sat in her car talking about all the different things life has thrown at us and how we've come so far since then. My cousin and I have many things in common, from riding horses to dealing with boys. She mentioned to me how she went out and bought a tie for her future husband and uses it as a reminder that God has a plan for her, and the man she is supposed to be with.
So, I decided that I would do the same thing. I went out and bought a dark green bow tie, the one my husband will wear on our wedding day. Each morning when I see it, I'm reminded that God has a plan for me and my husband, that His timing is more powerful than my thoughts and wishes.
While I still have my "weak" moments, looking at attractive boys and wondering whether or not they might just be my future husband, I always remind myself to slow down and take a breath. If it's in God's plan, it will happen.
When my future husband receives his tie on our wedding day, he'll also get a letter telling him how I picked out the tie and how I prayed for him, about our relationship with each other, and our relationship with God.
Another quick word of advice that my mom always tells me:
"God is driving the bus, not you. So sit back and enjoy the ride."