As any person who has ever been in one can tell you, long-distance relationships are the farthest thing from easy. Relationships alone can be incredibly difficult, and adding distance only seems to increase the stress. You want your relationship to last more than anything in the world, but some days it feels like you are so apart both mentally and physically that you are not sure your relationship will make it out alive. I am here to tell you that it can be done. I have personally been in a long-distance relationship for the past year and a half, and I would like to share with you what I believe to be the three most important components of a successful long distance relationship.
1. Communication
Communication in all relationships is incredibly important, and it is especially important in long-distance relationships. When you are physically near the person with whom you are involved, it can seem easy to get into the routine of keeping the line of communication open. In short distance relationships, asking your significant other questions like "How was your day?" and "How are you feeling right now?" can seem like a relatively easy thing to do due to your close proximity to one another. In long-distance relationships, however, it can become much more difficult. When you are physically separated from the one you love, asking those same questions becomes more of a hassle. Communication becomes much more impersonal when the only way you can communicate is by phone or text message. There is an extreme advantage for couples that have the ability to be in each other's presence and have face-to-face conversations, so when distance is added, the once-open lines of communications can begin to shut down due to impersonal means of communicating. It may seem frustrating, but in order to keep your long distance relationship afloat, you need to work much harder to keep those lines of communication open. Call often. Facetime. Skype. Communication will be much easier if you try to talk as personally as possible.
2. Honesty
In any relationship, honesty is key. But for long-distance relationships specifically, it is incredibly important that you remain honest. Sometimes we get busy. Sometimes we have to study. Sometimes we just need to go out and relax with friends. There needs to be a mutual understanding between the halves of long-distance relationships that each other's lives are allowed to, and are going to, exist outside of one another. In staying honest, you make sure that there is no reason for either one of you to be hiding anything from one another. Each person needs to realize that in order to function together, you need to be able to function apart. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to know what you're doing, be honest. It's your right as a human being to be able to take time for yourself. You're allowed to say, "I have a lot of work to do, can I call you when I'm finished?" or "I'm really stressed, and my friends invited me out to dinner; would you mind if I called when I got home?" It's not healthy to restrict yourself just because you think that your significant other will not approve. Go out with friends. Take the time you need to read for class. And whatever you do, be honest with your significant other about what you want and what you need. They can't read your mind!
3. Independence
It's really nice to feel like a half of a whole, but in order to live a healthy life, we must also find comfort in having our own lives separate from others. If you and your partner are apart for school or for work, be understanding of the fact that your love may have or may want to have interests and responsibilities outside of your relationship. If you truly love one another, you will make time for each other amidst your own separate activities. If you love your boyfriend or girlfriend, you should want them to be happy and want to support them in everything that they may do. It is not realistic of anyone to expect anyone else to drop everything for someone every single second of the day. Let your partner have other friends. Support your partner in what interests them. On top of being there for your partner romantically, be there for them as a friend that they can talk to about their life while they are apart from you. By allowing each other to flourish separately and independently from one another, you will simultaneously be aiding yourselves in flourishing together.
By keeping the lines of communication open, being honest about your needs and desires, and living independently as well as together, I promise you that although it will still be hard at times, your love will seem at least a little less far away!
