Life is a giant adventure. Cliché, I know. Even as I just begin my journey into my twenties, I feel I have lived enough to say I have screwed up. I have really screwed up. I’ve destroyed friendships, I’ve lost jobs, I’ve had my heart broken, and through it all I can honestly say that I have no regrets. We are taught to feel guilty for when we are wrong, but I feel no guilt for my mistakes. I feel no regret in the stones I’ve crushed to sand and I like to believe what could be described as my life’s biggest regrets (so far) are actually my life's greatest lessons.
Lesson 1: It’s never too late to start over.
Many young adults are afraid to make a choice because they are afraid of making the wrong choice. If you never choose, though, how will you ever know? After ignoring my mother’s advice to take time off between high school and college, I began studying marketing. I chose this major because somebody once said it would be a good fit for me and the job security was just a bonus. Well one year and thousands of dollars later I could confidently say that it was not a good fit for me. Panicked by my first adult life choice failing, I chose another path and moved 3000 miles from New York to California. Here I thought I would do it, I would live the dream. But this is where the next lesson comes in.
Lesson 2: Be patient, everything has its time and its place.
Leaving high school and entering the “real world,” I was eager to prove my independence and make my place in the world. I am not afraid to admit that I was 100% not prepared to actually do so. Moving away from everyone and everything I know made me realize how reliant I was on familiar places and how alone we really can be. After losing my first job, I decided to give up on my California dream and my self-proclaimed independence. I moved back to New York, moved back in with my parents and started back at school as a general studies major. I am now one semester from graduating with my teaching degree and could not be more excited for this next adventure, even if I fail. At the time I thought this to be my biggest failure, but it was actually life showing me a great opportunity. I was able to travel across the country, seeing just a small portion of all this beautiful world has to offer. Being in the wrong place at the wrong time wasn’t a mistake, it was just a way for me to see where I was supposed to be.
Lesson 3: Never be afraid to say how you truly feel.
I am actually the worst at relationships. Put me in a room with my crush and I will kick him in the knee and talk about how sweaty I’m getting. Furthermore, it seems I’ve always picked the wrong guy. But looking back, all my failed relationships were just stepping stones to put me in a place where I am supposed to be. I may have loved many who did not feel the same about me, but that doesn’t discredit my feelings; it only validates how powerful my emotions can be. To the man I loved when didn’t work out, I’m sorry. I hope you know I only wish you happiness because I loved you and that is how you feel towards those you've loved. To the man I never gave a chance to, I am also sorry. Perhaps I am just on your list of failures that put you in the right place. I’d rather have honestly said “I love you” to someone who did not love me back, than to hold on to that for the rest of my love wondering if they felt the same. There is no regret in the truth, only in holding back.
Regardless of what you may think you have to lose, say how you feel, do what you love, and even if it all falls apart and you think you have nothing left, you always have one that remains: tomorrow. My biggest regrets, failures and mistakes are some of the greatest choices I’ve made because they are exactly what brought me to where I am right now. And I’m alright with that.
