I've always heard that a girl has three great loves. The first great love is just the first, pre-mature, heartbreak. It's like testing the waters of how relationships work. The second is the relationship that teaches a girl everything they need to know. That second love is something great because while it is a true, painful, heart-shattering experience, it opens your eyes to realize what you truly want out of a man. My second relationship taught me everything I needed to know. It made me realize that I was worth so much more than to wait on a boy who was unsure and didn't know what they wanted out of life and out of a relationship. It made me realize that waiting on a boy who was not 100% there for me was a waste of time. It made me realize that if someone really loves you and wants to be with you, they will go out of their way to show it. It also showed me that those red flags in the beginning are red flags for a reason. There were many times when I felt smaller than a grain of salt. It doesn't matter how much you think you know or understand this boy, you can't make up your own excuses for their behavior. It doesn't matter how much you love that boy's family, or how long you've been dating. Once you get to the point where that lifesaver you are hanging onto isn't much support anymore, you have to let go for your own good. In light of that heartbreaking experience that so many girls go through, I truly believe you come out better than how you originally went into the relationship. It may take weeks, months, or even a year or so to realize that. Some things that I took away from my second relationship is that I wanted someone who was loyal. Someone who I didn't feel like I needed to beg to talk to me or give me attention. Someone who wants to go out on occasional dates, because I don't mind staying in and being lazy. A boy who makes me feel like I don't have to compete for their attention. Most importantly for me, a boy who doesn't make me compare myself to other girls and make me feel like I need to change to make them happy. It's been roughly two years since that second heartbreak. I knew after it ended that I needed to focus more on myself and thats exactly what I have been doing. I lost myself and desperately wanted to find that girl again. Truthfully, though, that girl no longer exists and I am eternally grateful for that. I put my identity into someone else and expected my happiness to come from that person. Since then, I have let go of so much anger and resentment towards that person. I have nothing but a grateful heart for the experience. I continue to find myself every single day. I love myself more and find happiness within myself now. I have a better understanding about what I want out of life and from a relationship. I am so thankful for my second, great love for showing me what kind of person I want to be, how I want to live my life, and what I want and deserve in a relationship. Fingers crossed for the third great love.