you are not coming back.

though I have known it for the longest time

it seems like somehow I still will never believe it.

See what they don't tell you about someone leaving

is that after they are gone, you realize how much you relied on their presence.

how you will begin to miss the small things

things that only you would really appreciate.

like the way you would write little notes in the morning

notes that would say “stop being an ass..just love me”

or “don't forget to feed the cat…..seriously, she’ll die”

things like that only I would really appreciate.

but every now and then I find some of those notes.

they’re worn and washed out and blurry

but I can still make out what it says

after three years…

after three long goddamn years

after countless washes that piece of paper has been through

I can still make out the three faint words that bring me joy

and I can't help but smile and remember the good times.