Guys, we have all been there, right? You know what I mean: being single at a wedding. There is nothing quite like seeing a couple at the peak of their happiness while you are sulking in the bottom of an empty beer can. I have provided a list of thoughts that pass through the mind of a single male during a wedding.

1. "Where the bridesmaids at?"

2. "I could totally jump over that table."

3. "Who let the dude with the fedora in?"

4. "How does he have a date and I don't?"

5. "Fedoras are stupid."

6. "I bet this guy has fuzzy dice hanging from his rear view mirror."

7. "Is there an option for steak AND chicken?"

8. "I could easily be a professional wedding crasher."

9. "I should look into that."

10. "Alcohol will be my plus one tonight."

11. "Why does everyone here ask why Im still single?"

12. "How many pieces of cake is socially acceptable?"

13. "How many pieces of cake could I eat before I puke?"

14. "I bet I could take down at least four pieces of cake."

15. "What do I get if I throw in a $20 bill for the dollar dance?"

16. "This DJ is killing my vibe."

17. "Help me out bro, I have requested Single Ladies by Beyonce like four times already."

18. "Thank God for Beyonce, how else would I know who is single?"

19. "Ugh, look at those newlyweds. They're so happy and I hate it."

20. "They are really cute, though."

21. "I'm going to die alone."

22. "Did the DJ really just play the Cupid Shuffle right after the Electric Slide?"

23. "Noob."

24. "How is the ring bearer way more successful with the ladies than me?"

25. "I am so underdressed."

26. "I am so sweaty."

27. "Annnnnnnnd I'm alone at my table for the slow dance."

28. "Might as well hop on tinder!"

29. "How old is too old?"

30. "At what age do you become a Cougar?"

31. "I wish I could catch the bouquet."

32. "Oh, look at that girl, she's pretty hot."

33. "Im going to go talk to her."

34. "After this next beer."

35. "Oh wait is that her boyfriend?"

36. "I'm just going to go home and watch The Notebook."