Understanding Empathy
Start writing a post
Politics and Activism

Understanding Empathy

Thoughts on empathy inspired by the Work of Brene Brown.

71
Understanding Empathy
Pablo Heimplatz

As a social work major, I frequently find myself talking about empathy, both in school and in the context of my personal relationships. Despite the exposure i've had to the idea, I've found that when it comes to the application, I don't know what it means to be truly empathetic.

Thinking about empathy often brings up images of listening and comforting, as well as kind words and good wishes; yet, while these are all integral pieces of practicing empathy, these are often an incomplete representation of what it actually entails. A woman to know on the subject of empathy is Brene Brown, a social work researcher who has done incredible work in exploring empathy and vulnerability.

She speaks empirically about the nature of empathy, and has given numerous TED talks and written many books on her research findings. Many of the thoughts in this post come from the work that she's done with this idea.

To begin simply with a definition, Merriam-Webster defines empathy as "the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another." There are many pieces to this to be broken down and addressed, as empathy is a complex process that involves an incredible amount of patience and vulnerability.

The first point of emphasis with this definition is that empathy is an action. Brene Brown often emphasizes that empathy is not just a feeling, but rather a choice. It is choosing to step outside of yourself, your thoughts, your beliefs, and your personal challenges to understand the experience of the other person.

It is choosing to take on the sadness, the hurt, the pain, and even the joy that is felt in order to be there with the other person. This is an incredibly vulnerable and selfless act we devote ourselves to as we choose to step into empathy.

This definition also puts an emphasis on understanding, being aware of, and being sensitive to someone else. Empathy is listening, asking questions, and "tuning into" what someone else is experiencing. This involves listening intently and focusing your mind on the other person, allowing them to speak about their own experience without interjecting your own assumptions.

It also means being sensitive, and recognizing that their feelings are incredibly real to them, despite how silly or irrational the problem could seem. Having an awareness of the feelings of another is ultimately being aware of your own inner workings; it is knowing when you can relate, but also when you cannot, and being honest about this. An honest admittance of where we stand can also be a powerful tool of empathy.

The final step of empathy is perhaps the most important. According to Brene Brown, it is the piece that involves the most courage and vulnerability. The final piece of the definition says that empathy is vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another.

Empathy is literally taking a moment to become someone else, to join them in their feeling. It is finding that feeling within your own experience, then using that as a bridge to understanding the experience of the other person.

This necessitates an active avoidance of comparing someone's situation to your own solely for the purpose of deciding whether their feelings are legitimate. We cannot play the "my life is harder than yours" game and still claim to be practicing empathy. We are all complex beings, with very complex and real emotions living inside of us. If we come to engage with this complexity, we will have created a sanctuary of mutual vulnerability and connection.

Empathy is incredibly important in forming genuine, personal relationships, as well as in understanding the behaviors and motivations of those we have not come to know. Empathy is the first step to compassion: it is what opens your heart up to wanting to create a world that is better for everyone.

It is a way for us to escape ourselves through the endless beauty in human complexity. While it is often easy for us to feel alone in our own complexity, empathy reminds us that we are ultimately more alike than we are different.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

57669
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

37170
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

958882
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

191723
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments