Colorism is discrimination or prejudice against individuals based on their skin color. I've learned about this term a couple of years ago and how it negativity affects dark-skinned people in the African-American community. Recently, I've noticed how colorism is actually an issue for everyone. No one goes untouched by it.
Here's how I've been affected by colorism.
1. Questioned ethnicity
"What are you?" is the most asked question that has escaped the mouths of the understandably curious. Among this question are others such as "What are you mixed with?" and, rarely, "Are you albino?" The questioning isn't really a giant issue for me but rather a kind of mental burden.
People questioning what I am is one thing, but many times they sometimes refuse to believe the answer I give. Feeling reluctant to explain my diverse background and how I was born with blonde hair, I'll just answer saying "I am black"; however, to those curious minds I am black, but not quite black enough or not black black but still black to say the least. From that comes the need to prove my blackness and to fit in.
2. False assumptions
I remember riding my school bus when I was in the 8th grade, where I became friends with a girl who happened to be dark-skinned. We weren't friends right away, though. One day she messaged me via Facebook and asked if we could be friends. Being the anti-social girl I am, I was thrilled that someone actually wanted to be my friend.
When we got to know each other better, she admitted something to me. She said when she first saw me sitting on the bus, I appeared to be mean and stuck up. I was shocked and a bit offended. I wanted to know how I could possible appear that way so that I may try to change. She then continued to tell me it was due to me being "light-skinned and pretty." The conversation ended there since I didn't really know how to respond.
It's hurtful when people look at me and accuse me of being something I'm not based on how light my skin is. It's also embarrassing. The assumptions are made by individuals who have had little to no interaction with me. They're found on stereotypes and prejudgments, and I think it's wrong.
3. Guilt
I was never told that in my life, I would have certain privileges. Instead, I found out through social media. I have certain privileges that darker girls would not be able to acquire and, apparently, I should be grateful for that. I should be happy that I would be more desired for particular jobs and I should be overjoyed that my light skin is a preference for some boys. However, I've never felt grateful, happy, nor overjoyed. I always find myself feeling guilty.
I understand that my skin comes with certain privileges and, although I can't do anything to change people's way of thinking, I feel guilty because of it. I also feel as though I personally haven't gained any privileges because of my skin and I used to feel guilty for not acknowledging these privileges I was apparently suppose to have.
4. Alienation
All of the issues that were mentioned above leads to a feeling of alienation. I am aware of which racial group I belong to, but it's difficult to fit in. I'm still being told that I'm not black or I'm not black enough because I'm "too light." I get verbally attacked if I attempt to discuss African-American issues. I get scolded if I ever share my own struggles because my struggles would never be equivalent to someone who has a darker tone.
I've struggled with this feeling of alienation as well as the other issues previously stated, but at the end of the day, we all share the same blood. Despite the various shades that we may come in we are all still black and we should embrace our uniqueness.
