I’m about to share my innermost thoughts. When I journal, I often go on tangents about my observations, thoughts and feelings about the human experience. Here is a piece about those bouncing thoughts related to relationships:
“Life’s a continual roller coaster. We have our ups and downs. Literally. It’s like we’re surfing on our hormones. Because one day we feel on top of the world, and the next we fall off the board and are drowning. But it’s beautiful. Every thought from the unconscious and conscious. Combined. It’s what connects us as humans."
Most agree that in life, we aim to be happy. But life is bipolar. Sometimes we’re manic, and sometimes we’re depressed. And sometimes we’re floating on the in-between. We’re not happy, but we’re not sad. And sometimes that feeling is being content. Other times its uneasy or unsettling.
Many believe happiness stems from love and relationships. But you can’t force a connection. You can’t force compatibility. You can’t make someone love you if they don’t. And as the song goes “You can’t make your heart feel something it won’t.” That’s why it’s called a crush or worse, being heartbroken.
No one likes feeling rejected. No one really wants to feel pain. We may tell ourselves this because we’re numb and we want to feel something. But maybe we keep falling for the wrong people. Shutting out the right people for us who want to get close. But why do we do this? Is it because they aren’t as attractive? What a petty thought. But we all make this judgement before we search for a significant other. Society has engrained this on our brains.
Why do we fall into our misperceptions of people? Why do we obsess so much over those who don’t want us? Why is it that we want what we can’t have? Is it the challenge, the threat, a means to prove ourselves? Or is it that we feel like we missed out?
But the best things are worth waiting for. You may feel like you’re missing out if you’re single. But a relationship forms with the right person at the right time. We can enter relationships make mistakes and regret them. Or we can grow from them. But a relationship shouldn’t be a crutch.
Human relationships are fascinating. Think about our brains and all of our neurons and impulses and connections and memories. Instincts. Desires. Emotion. Working together at once. We can’t just be conscious beings. Our conscious is what we make of the world. But our movements and emotions and reactions are all subconscious. And how fascinating is that? It’s something we inevitably can’t control. And it baffles me every day.
And the most important thing and what I will end my rant on is communication. Relationships live and breathe through effective communication. A relationship is only as healthy as how much you understand the other’s wants, needs, desires, and passions. So if you don’t feel that with a current relationship, express this with the other person. Say the words. If you sulk in your sorrows, you aren’t moving forward. Rejection hurts and life has its ups and downs, but unless you start moving you won’t get to experience what’s next for you.