Now that "Grey's Anatomy" is on its 12th season and you essentially know every plot line by heart, you feel pretty confident saying you could be a doctor. You don't know why they still have med school and residencies; people should just watch "Grey's." It's basically a crash course on how to be a doctor. They would save time, money, and a whole lot of tears. They have Miranda Bailey to teach them everything, anyway. When she moves, you move. And after binge-watching "Grey's" forever, here are some thoughts everyone has:
I could probably perform an appendectomy right here if someone needs it. I know the symptoms: pain in the lower right side, vomiting, fever, chills. Scrub in and gown up. George taught me what not to do. Don't freeze. Don't screw up. Invert the stump. Make sure BP and O2 levels remain stable.
"It's a beautiful day to save lives." I would totally have a cool saying like that right before I cut into someone's brain, and I would look really cute doing it too. McDreamy has the perfect smile, great hair, and a ferry boat scrub cap. It just makes sense that'd he'd have a perfect saying too. I mean... who wouldn't wanna specialize in neuro? You get to be with Derek all day. Derek, brains, and ferry boats. That's the whole package if you ask me.
I'd easily be able to trach someone in restaurant with only a plastic knife and a pen cap. I've seen it done a million times. I could probably do the same thing with someone's lung too... you know, the whole re-inflating it thing? It's all in the fingers. You just gotta feel it.
It's the first cut that matters. How you cut into someone says how the whole surgery is going to go. So when I'm traching someone, I'll remember to be purposeful and direct. Deep but not too deep.
If I had Richard Webber giving me wise advice all day and Christina to complain to, my life would be so much easier. Motivation and sarcasm are their passions. Besides, I need a person. Everyone should have a person.
Aneurysm? Sign me up. I got Mer and Christina on my shoulders to lead me through this one. Hit the library to read up on a patient's condition? Already did that in the first episode. Just glove me up. It's a beautiful day to save lives. Let's have some fun.
First thing to ask for in surgery: ten blade. Makes total sense. And you gotta stick your hand out without looking at the nurse, like you're just dead-focused on your patient at that point.
I should marry someone I work with. That way, we'll both understand the busy, crazy schedule that doctors have and we can talk about our surgeries together. I don't know what's more romantic than that. Well, Derek created the next Picasso on their bedroom wall, so there's that.
I would look really good in scrubs. I mean, Karev's managed to pull it off for twelve seasons. He also managed to save a baby's life by taking off his shirt, so there's that. Worse comes to worst, just take off your shirt and hold the patient. Sounds like that'll fix everything and stabilize their vitals. Kangaroo hold for the win.
Someone's crashing? Start compressions and push 1 of epi. I've got this. Charge to 300. Clear! Continue compressions and push another of epi. Charge to 360. Clear! I've got sinus rhythm. The next 24 hours are going to be critical. We need to monitor him closely and do hourly checks.
Mom, I'm signing up for med school. I'm thinking Dartmouth or Stanford, maybe Johns Hopkins. We'll have see where I get in, but I'm clearly getting in everywhere. Oh, they need my MCAT scores? I don't think so. That won't be necessary. Just tell them I've seen "Grey's" and I'm ready to make merry-go-round references and dance it out with my person for the rest of my life.
