"I'm just going to run to the mall real quick to pick up a couple things I need."
You've been going to the mall since middle school. You know where everything is, and exactly how to get around. This'll take half an hour, tops.
"How are there this many cars in the parking lot? And how are they all parked this terribly?"
Mall parking lots bring out a new type of beast inside of some people. I've never been as viciously cut off as I have in the parking lot of my local mall, and the walk from the car to the doors always seems to be approximately 28 miles.
"Oh god, my entire graduating class from high school is here."
Did everyone call each other and decide to come to the mall at 1 pm on a Tuesday? There's only so many times you can look at your phone to avoid making eye contact with someone.
"Okay, just slip into Victoria's Secret and get what you need to get."
"Why is that 11 year old buying thongs?"
And why is her mom paying for them??? What is this???
"What do you mean, a 6 doesn't fit me anymore? The tag must be wrong. Or the store."
You haven't gained any weight. Absolutely not. The store just changed their sizing scale. Right??
"How is this line this long?"
In the amount of time you've been waiting in this line, you probably could have conceived, grown, developed and given birth to a baby. Or written a 2000-page novel. Or probably both.
"Ok, yes, it smells amazing, but you do not need to get a Cinnabon right now."
*gets a Cinnabon anyway because even though you don't need it, you deserve it*
You're all done! Time to go home!!!
