Why is it that my anger comes out most when I am driving? I mean that guy in his fancy sports car could have put on his turn signal when he decided to cut me off. The little old lady ten cars in front of me could be driving the speed limit and not holding up all of this traffic. All of these out-of-towners could go back home and the roads would be a tad bit less crowded at rush hour. But, hey, what would be driving without any of these people to piss me off on the daily. I know I cannot be the only ones who yells at everyone as if they could possibly hear me. I also know that I am not the only one who thinks these thoughts while on the road...
1. "Oh wow, nice turn signal."
The typical person who thinks that the little switch next to the steering wheel is not there or does not work. If I rear end you, it is your fault. Do you see that light flashing on the back of people's cars when they turn? USE IT TOO! Slamming on my breaks is not fun.
2. "WHY ARE YOU DRIVING SO SLOW OH MY GOD! I have places to go!!!"
Oh would you look at that a cute little old lady who can barely see over the steering wheel. Take a taxi. Call a cab. I do not really care what she does but GET OFF THE ROAD. Please tell your grandparents or even your parents that if they can barely see over the wheel or have trouble seeing than to not drive. I would prefer to be going 15 miles under the speed limit on my way to work not on the way home.
3. "Come on over! I was letting you in front of me anyways!!"
Sure try squeezing your huge lifted truck between me and this little car in front. I wanted you to come over and cut me off because you suddenly realized you needed to turn down this road. Yes I just smiled at you like it did not bother me but on the inside I am cursing you out.
4. "The light is green. Why aren't you moving? Take your foot off the break and go!"
There is always that one light that you have to go through that you cannot stand. It goes from green to yellow way to quickly then stays on red for a good twenty minutes. You come up on the light and you are five cars back and you know you will make it through the next green light. It turns green but then you see the lovely car leading us all NOT MOVING. Let the yelling and honking begin.
5. "Listen, buddy if you are going to get that close to my back end you, better buy me dinner first! I will break check so fast, just watch."
We are all in a hurry to get home or to get to wherever we need to be. However, there are always people who apparently need to get to those places sooner. Leave earlier if that is you! Getting extremely close to my back bumper is not going to make this red light to green any faster or make me driver any quicker. Riding my butt will honestly make me drive slower just to piss you off even more. Pass me? That is okay, I will catch up with you at the next red light to laugh at you.
I tried to keep this all PG but let's be real, we all know you curse like a sailor when yelling at people. The road rage is getting too real.
