I don’t feel I’m old enough to make any sweeping declarations or remarks about my life – though my Odyssey articles may express otherwise.

But ever since coming to college and getting to know people from diverse backgrounds, with different interests and upbringings, I’ve been reflecting –to myself– quite a bit, about my childhood and specifically, how I was as a child.

I’ve always felt I know myself pretty well – I’m very conscious of my attitudes and behaviors – and so I can tell there are some things about myself that have not changed at all. And this, I'm sorry to say, is not necessarily for the better.

First, I’m incredibly stubborn. I was as a kid, and I am now.

There are certain things where – honestly – I just can’t let go: a problem on a test, a concept I can’t understand – they eat away at me. Sometimes, I get so irrational in my thinking, and I acknowledge, it’s ridiculous.

I have this one vivid memory. When I was little I was playing outside on a misty day when it suddenly began to rain pretty hard. I didn’t mind being outside in the rain, but my mom begged to differ; she didn’t want me to be outside alone in a storm.

After playing a minute more, as it began to rain harder, I decided –on my own accord– it would probably be best to go inside. I was headed toward the back door of my house –the long way around the house, I should note, because I wasn’t exactly in a rush to escape the downpour– when my mom opened the side door for me. It was nice of her, I admit, as I could have easily been swept away by the storm.

But alas, she had corrupted my plan. I wanted to stay outside for longer. And yes, I remember being angry about this.

Today, it’s similar. I can’t stand when certain things offset my plan. I’ll be working on a homework assignment, for example, and I’ll have to switch gears.

Maybe I’ll get a phone call, or suddenly remember a quick task I have to complete for a different activity. I’ll have started the new task immediately, and it angers me.

Second – I stress and psyche myself out, often.

When I was young, for example, I became concerned about time. If my mom was late picking me up, I would instantly become worried. I hated being late for parties and events and missing anything important.

I stressed out about performing, even for small audiences. I have several memories of being in dance and music classes and performing a routine or song in front of parents and friends. I was shy, yes, but I was also stressed. I didn't want to mess up anything.

And today – a well-known fact – I stress out about grades, school, life and its infiniteness, you name it.

In sum, if it hasn’t been made clear yet, I admit, I can be rather over obsessive.

Though these consistencies I observe in my behavior are central to my identity, I admit, they are represent patterns I would desperately like to change. I’d like to rid myself of my stubbornness and stress. I’d like to relax more and enjoy the little things.

Perhaps, I argue, these shortcomings provide room for growth and opportunity. I can use my new experiences to outgrow my childhood tendencies.

As a final thought, just a few years ago, a beloved former babysitter of mine – with whom I share many memories – attended my high school graduation party. I hadn't seen or spoken to her in at least six or seven years.

I was so happy to see her.

I'm not really sure what it was about that day, but remember, this is someone who knows me very well.

"Breathe, Jennifer," she said, and smiled at some point during the party.

I laughed a little. She had told me the same thing when I was little, all the time.