To those who know me well, that headline probably scared you. I am now known as the girl who is obsessed with tap-dancing; the girl who would give anything to be able to slide on a sleek pair of leather taps and go compose music on stage. Me without tap-dancing would be the equivalent of Mickey Mouse without his faithful dog Pluto, or Barrack Obama without Joe Biden; it just doesn’t work.

However, tap-dancing and I have not always had this bromance we are famous for today.

When I first started dance, I loathed tap. When I slid on my first pair of tap shoes, I fell on my butt. Two years later, I was crying in my bed at night because I could not master the two sounds of a “flap.” Three years later, I was being screamed at and called a “slacker” when I was honestly trying my best while fighting my way through one of the worst flu bugs of my life. Tap became my worst enemy - my character foil.

To be honest, I am not really sure when I started to fall in love with it. I had so many awful experiences with tap dancing that any normal person would hate it and forever loathe it. I think one reason I started to become obsessed is that I forced myself to practice it constantly; I craved the attention of my tap teachers, as I felt that was the only place I could shine. When you are constantly tap-dancing up and down the grocery aisles, under your desk at school, or in the kitchen while your mom is making dinner, you can’t help but start to get used to it. It just becomes a part of you. When you aren’t constantly tapping your toes on a hard surface, something doesn’t feel right. Sometimes, you even start to love it.

I think the other reason showed up after I had my fifth-grade tap teacher scream at me, and she finally decided to get smart and leave my dance studio for good. After her departure, I was introduced to my absolute favorite dance teacher of all time. This tap-teacher brought a radiating, positive energy to our class that no other tap-teacher brought us before. She gave us constructive criticism that had a thin layer of positivity so we would want to improve ourselves. She awarded us with “cheese” food parties when our “cheesy” performance qualities were up to par. She is the person that made tap-dancing so enjoyable for me. I don’t think I would have fallen in love with tap if I didn’t have her in my life.

Needless to say, my confidence grew under this teacher’s direction, and I was able to bloom into the tap-dancer I am today. My skills were slowly improving, and I was starting to find all the little nuances in tap to be happy about. For example, who would have known how fun toe-stands can be? My previous tap-teacher would murder my feet by making me practice these constantly, but this new teacher showed me how to appreciate the strength it takes to complete this step, and this made me feel like a warrior. This new teacher also taught me how tap can be complicated through counter-rhythms, pitches, and crescendos in volume, making tap-dancing a musical adventure.

It has almost been two years since I have performed a tap-dance on stage. You may be thinking that this isn’t a problem; I can tap dance, anywhere right? You are right to some extent. I still tap-dance in my room at college sometimes, and I will even take a class on the occasion if I find the time in my schedule. This scratches my itch of performing tap, but the itch still grows in intensity. Tapping by yourself in your room is a whole lot different than performing onstage. Onstage, you get to feel the percussion of your tap shoes bounce off of the hallow, wooden floors into the audience.

You get the adrenaline rush that makes you feel like you’re on top of the world.

You feel the heat of the lights sizzle on your skin, and you can feel the energy of your genuine smile collide with the happy energy of the audience. To be honest, you feel like Beethoven conducting a symphony.

10+ years ago, I would have never thought that I would be saying this, but I miss performing the art of tap-dancing. There is no better feeling in the world than feeling the rhythm of the music, creating alongside it, and letting this new melody seep into your bones and make you feel like you are on top of the world.