A Letter To The Girl Who Thought She Wasn't Good Enough

A Letter To The Girl Who Thought She Wasn't Good Enough

Bad things in life happen all the time, but it doesn't mean that they last forever.

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Dear You,

Here's to all the things that you've left behind, to all the doors you've closed, and to everything you've missed out on.

High school wasn't fun, we all know that. But here's the thing: the things you learned there were things that you've been able to carry into the rest of your life, and I'm not talking about the algebra that they pushed down your throat. No, it was the relationships you fought through, the friendships you lost, and the drama you cried over.

Remember those rumors? They made you a strong human being; they created a tougher skin, a wall around your fragile heart that may screw you over later, but it made you, you. The competitions with your so-called best friend were unfathomable, but you looked the other way because you have so much love in your heart for her. The nights you cried yourself to sleep, or had a rom-com marathon all by yourself because everyone else "forgot" to invite you too... these obstacles are what made you stronger in life.

Here's to you for fighting through the crap of a small-town high school where your dreams and plans weren't seen as important or real. Here's to you for doing your best anyway, through the bad and the good, to get to where you wanted to be, even if you didn't get there right away. Here's to the negative comments you shrugged off your shoulders because of how much you had talked about getting out, only to be let down by admission decisions. Here's to the girl who never backed down from what her heart truly called for.

Well, we thought college would be better, right? Finally out in the world without anyone to really tell you what to do and how to do it, but you're alone, you're scared, and you're falling into a sort of darkness that digs its claws into your side. Sure, you wished college would be a breath of fresh air. In fact, you were the only one to really travel away from family and friends compared to everyone else who told you that you were crazy or "pretentious." You followed the only path that was set out for you, immediately throwing you into this pit of sadness and loneliness. You're finally getting to do what you truly want, and you feel like you're failing.

You hated it there, but even through the tears, you looked for a brighter light to make it somewhat enjoyable.

The tears of anger, sadness, exhaustion. But here's the thing: even if you aren't the person that he wants to be with, you haven't let that deter you from creating a better version of yourself. You thought he brought out the best you, only a few times, and maybe he did, but you go through this life with confidence and a small smile on your face. That's the characteristic of someone who knows what they want and is working to get it.

I'm amazed by your will and your power. I really am in disbelief with the hidden virtues of your love that you wish you could give, yet you're terrified to show how badly you want to be recognized. You are hard like stone. You are also bright like the sun shining down from a clear, blue sky. You walk around with purpose, and you know that with the faith that you keep in your heart that everything has its plan, and you won't be left behind this time.

Sure, we want to plan out our entire lives and hope that we get to see the end of a path dreamt of for years, but most of the time it is the journey that creates us. The hurt you've felt and the tears you've shed have become little parts of who you are, someone that you shouldn't blame for all of the bad things that have happened but for all the good things that have surprised you along the way. You have all the choices in the world, all you have to do is make them.

So here's to all the bad ones we will make, and to all the antics we will do to fix them.

Sincerely,

A girl just like you

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PSA: Keep Your Body-Negative Opinions Away From Little Girls This Summer

But our own baggage shouldn't be shoved on to those we surround ourselves with.

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It's officially swimsuit season, y'all.

The temperature is rising, the sun is bright and shining, and a trip to the beach couldn't look more appealing than it does right now. This is the time of year that many of us have been rather impatiently waiting for. It's also the time of year that a lot of us feel our most self-conscious.

I could take the time to remind you that every body is a bikini body. I could type out how everyone is stunning in their own unique way and that no one should feel the need to conform to a certain standard of beauty to feel beautiful, male or female. I could sit here and tell you that the measurement of your waistline is not a reflection of your worth. I completely believe every single one of these things.

Hell, I've shared these exact thoughts more times than I can count. This time around, however, I'm not going to say all these things. Instead, I'm begging you to push your insecurities to the side and fake some confidence in yourself when you're in front of others.

Why?

Because our negative self-image is toxic and contagious and we're spreading this negative thinking on to others.

We're all guilty of this, we're with family or a friend and we make a nasty comment about some aspect of our appearance, not even giving a single thought to the impact our words have on the person with us. You might think that it shouldn't bother them- after all, we're not saying anything bad about them! We're just expressing our feelings about something we dislike about ourselves. While I agree that having conversations about our insecurities and feelings are important for our mental and emotional health, there is a proper and improper way of doing it. An open conversation can leave room for growth, acceptance, understanding, and healing. Making a rude or disheartening remark about yourself is destructive not only to yourself, but it will make the person you are saying these things around question their own self worth or body image by comparing themselves to you.

My little sister thinks she's "fat." She doesn't like how she looks. To use her own words, she thinks she's "too chubby" and that she "looks bad in everything."

She's 12 years old.

Do you want to know why she has this mindset? As her older sister, I failed in leading her by example. There were plenty of times when I was slightly younger, less sure of myself, and far more self-conscious than I am now, that I would look in the mirror and say that I looked too chubby, that my body didn't look good enough, that I wished I could change the size of my legs or stomach.

My little sister had to see the older sibling she looks up to, the big sis she thinks always looks beautiful, say awful and untrue things about herself because her own sense of body image was warped by media, puberty, and comparing herself to others.

My negativity rubbed off onto her and shaped how she looks at herself. I can just imagine her watching me fret over how I look thinking, "If she thinks she's too big, what does that make me?"

It makes me feel sick.

All of us are dealing with our own insecurities. It takes some of us longer than others to view ourselves in a positive, loving light. We're all working on ourselves every day, whether it be mentally, physically, or emotionally. But our own baggage shouldn't be shoved on to those we surround ourselves with, our struggles and insecurities should not form into their own burdens.

Work on yourself in private. Speak kindly of yourself in front of others. Let your positivity, real or not, spread to others instead of the bad feelings we have a bad habit of letting loose.

The little girls of the world don't need your or my negative self-image this summer. Another kid doesn't need to feel worthless because we couldn't be a little more loving to ourselves and a lot more conscious of what we say out loud.

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10 Quotes That Will Help You Realize Your Self-Worth

Sometimes you need a little pick me up and that's okay because I'm pretty sure it happens to everyone. When I need a pick me up, I tend to look over quotes that help with either giving me an ego boost or reminding me to keep working.

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These 10 quotes are from a notes page that I keep on my phone with a list of over 100 quotes. I keep quotes on my phone to give me reminders, advice, or even some motivation. I specifically chose these ten quotes to help anyone remind themselves to never give up and to know your self-worth, which is priceless.

1. "Hold yourself to a higher standard than anyone else expects of you. Never excuse yourself."

This quote reminds me to only focus on what I think about myself and to continue bettering myself. The part of the quote that states, "never excuse yourself" really illuminates how there is always room for improvement in every aspect of your life. Never allow yourself to fall behind and to continue growing.

2. "I am left with no choice, but to create an empire from these ruins within me."

Anyone I am depressed (or heartbroken...), this quote reminds me you can only come up from rock bottom.

3. "If you're happy in yourself, you radiate happiness and attract happiness."

Any time I'm feeling down, I like to read this quote because it helps me work to getter better. The quote pushes me to get better because everything is much better and warmer when you're happy. Emotions soak in more, laughs are genuine, and happy tears become a reality.

4. "You don't need to be better than anyone else, you just need to be better than you used to be." -Wayne W. Dyer

Dyer's quote forces me to continue improving myself. I know this is similar to the first quote, but it helps even more because it reminds me to never forget where I came from.

5. "Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn't worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens." -Louise L. Hay

When I am feeling down about myself, Hay's quote helps me get out of the funk because I will only continue to spiral if I only focus on the negative.

6. "I am the flower and the thorns. I don't need you to touch me in order to blossom." -Haley Hendrick

Hendrick's quote gives me the confidence to be a strong independent young woman. I do not need a pity party to feel better about myself. I can cope and continue growing because rain is the only way flowers bloom.

7. "Be nice to yourself. It's hard to be happy when someone is being mean to you all the time."

If you continue to criticize yourself and only focus on your "flaws," you will never be able to be happy. I know it is harsh but if you don't love yourself, you won't be able to ever fully love anyone. Being kind and allowing yourself to grow is the best self-care. Take a break from whatever you're busy with at the time if you need to. Take a breath and focus on the reasons you love yourself and what all you have accomplished.

8. "I wanna make my parents proud, my enemies jealous, and myself satisfies."

This quote points you in the direction of self-growth because it allows you to remember there are never excuses for yourself. Growing up is a part of life, so is adaptation and evolution. You have to go with the flow and keep up with the times.

9. "Your body is not a temple..."

"Your body is not a temple. Temples can be destroyed and desecrated. Your body is a forest, thick canopies of maple trees and sweet wildflowers sprouting in the underwood. You will grow back, over and over, no matter how badly you are devastated."

Do not ever let anything keep your down, break through the ceiling if you have to. Keep pushing and working for whatever dreams you have.

10. "You don't have to feel guilty about removing toxic people from your life..."

"You don't ever have to feel guilty about removing toxic people from your life. It doesn't matter whether someone is s relative, romantic interest, employer, childhood friend, or a new acquaintance — you don't have to make room for people who cause you pain or make you feel small. It's one thing if a person owns up to their behavior and makes an effort to change. But if a person disregards your feelings, ignored your boundaries, and "continues" to treat you in a harmful way, they need to go." — Daniell Koepke

Sometimes, you had to leave behind people you thought would be in your life forever because they're holding you back. Sometimes they just always bring negativity and make you feel bad about yourself. Sometimes people make cool jokes and don't understand how it isn't funny. These people are toxic and it is okay to remove them from your life. Keep growing but always remember what could have happened if you stayed behind.

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