Every Thought Or Feeling I Had During 'The Bachelor' Premiere

Every Thought Or Feeling I Had During 'The Bachelor' Premiere

What's with the dolphins?
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1. When all you're friends are like....

But you've been a fan ever since the beginning because of his bad boy image.


2. You start preparing yourself mentally for the introductions.


3. You disregard Chris Harrisons 10 favorite words because it's just all he knows at this point.

(Yet somehow every season manages to be like nothing you've ever seen before.)


4. Then you start reminiscing on that lovely time in Paradise when Chad told Chris to go drink mimosas in his robe almost ruining his career.

Am I the only person in America that seriously misses Chad?


5. Rachel is a smart attorney meaning "The Bachelor" may finally be casting amazing women. I can't get past how cute her house is.


6. I just recently spoke too soon with the casting comment...


7. Corinne to her Mom: "Do you think you could go get me a snack now? That'd be great."



8. Corinne is 24 years old and she has a nanny.


9. This girl is trying to find a man on national television and this has just happened.


10. This little dolphin girl is trying to train her pug to be "Flipper."


11. I really want to know if she thinks of these fish in her tank as dolphins?


12. Me: "This girl seems sweet. Oh look, she's met Nick!"
Liz: "We had a lot of alcohol that night."
Producer: "So you guys spent the night together?"
Liz: "I mean it depends on how you define that term. I plead the fifth."


I could pretend like I don't like drama, but I can't wait to see the fights over this!


"He asked for my number but I thought he was just being nice. I haven't spoken to him since."

Are y'all telling me "The Bachelor" has cast a girl who hooked up with Nick and didn't get his phone number? As if the poor thing hasn't been through enough?



13. Time for the arrivals!


14. She's beautiful and I'm at home losing my Oreos in my milk.


So...


15. Liz: "I really don't know if he's going to remember the night we spent together."

The statement within itself got my attention for the season.

"I really don't think he remembered."


16. Vanessa girl I am rooting for you! You are by far the most real of all the contestants and I've got a lot riding on you for my Bachelor Fantasy League.

You're welcome.

I really am putting all my bets on Vanessa for my Fantasy League.


17. Me: "Aww this girl is going to be so sweet and innocent!"


18. I actually really like this country girl!


Let us never forget....


19. When I thought things couldn't worse.

My favorite part is how you can clearly tell she never thought about cooking it but she's a nurse.

20. I'm honestly so upset that I had to watch this.



21. Dolphin girl returns!!!! As a shark.....

There's a significance to the fact that a girl who has dedicated her life to dolphins doesn't know she's dressed as a shark.


22. I appreciate her just going ahead and getting to the main points. This could save us at least two episodes.


23. Oh look, time for Corinne to get some one on one time...

I swear if Corinne steals Nick from Vanessa before their conversation is over....

NOOOOOOO




24. Oh great, now Liz is back and Nick is asking her why she wouldn't contact him for nine months and now she's suddenly on his show.

She's decided not to tell anyone she hooked up with Nick.

BUT YOU DO KNOW! YOU KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM!


Honestly, I can't talk about the show anymore so let me bless y'all's days real quick with a little Nick Viall.

Wait, sorry his face wasn't in that one.



Cover Image Credit: People

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College As Told By Junie B. Jones

A tribute to the beloved author Barbara Parks.
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The Junie B. Jones series was a big part of my childhood. They were the first chapter books I ever read. On car trips, my mother would entertain my sister and me by purchasing a new Junie B. Jones book and reading it to us. My favorite part about the books then, and still, are how funny they are. Junie B. takes things very literally, and her (mis)adventures are hilarious. A lot of children's authors tend to write for children and parents in their books to keep the attention of both parties. Barbara Park, the author of the Junie B. Jones series, did just that. This is why many things Junie B. said in Kindergarten could be applied to her experiences in college, as shown here.

When Junie B. introduces herself hundreds of times during orientation week:

“My name is Junie B. Jones. The B stands for Beatrice. Except I don't like Beatrice. I just like B and that's all." (Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus, p. 1)

When she goes to her first college career fair:

"Yeah, only guess what? I never even heard of that dumb word careers before. And so I won't know what the heck we're talking about." (Junie B. Jones and her Big Fat Mouth, p. 2)

When she thinks people in class are gossiping about her:

“They whispered to each other for a real long time. Also, they kept looking at me. And they wouldn't even stop." (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 66)

When someone asks her about the library:

“It's where the books are. And guess what? Books are my very favorite things in the whole world!" (Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus, p. 27)

When she doesn't know what she's eating at the caf:

“I peeked inside the bread. I stared and stared for a real long time. 'Cause I didn't actually recognize the meat, that's why. Finally, I ate it anyway. It was tasty...whatever it was." (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 66)

When she gets bored during class:

“I drew a sausage patty on my arm. Only that wasn't even an assignment." (Junie B. Jones Loves Handsome Warren, p. 18)

When she considers dropping out:

“Maybe someday I will just be the Boss of Cookies instead!" (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 76)

When her friends invite her to the lake for Labor Day:

“GOOD NEWS! I CAN COME TO THE LAKE WITH YOU, I BELIEVE!" (Junie B. Jones Smells Something Fishy, p. 17)

When her professor never enters grades on time:

“I rolled my eyes way up to the sky." (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 38)

When her friends won't stop poking her on Facebook:


“Do not poke me one more time, and I mean it." (Junie B. Jones Smells Something Fishy, p. 7)

When she finds out she got a bad test grade:

“Then my eyes got a little bit wet. I wasn't crying, though." (Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus, p. 17)

When she isn't allowed to have a pet on campus but really wants one:

“FISH STICK! I NAMED HIM FISH STICK BECAUSE HE'S A FISH STICK, OF COURSE!" (Junie B. Jones Smells Something Fishy, p. 59)

When she has to walk across campus in the dark:

“There's no such thing as monsters. There's no such thing as monsters." (Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed, p. 12)

When her boyfriend breaks her heart:

“I am a bachelorette. A bachelorette is when your boyfriend named Ricardo dumps you at recess. Only I wasn't actually expecting that terrible trouble." (Junie B. Jones Is (almost) a Flower Girl, p. 1)

When she paints her first canvas:


"And painting is the funnest thing I love!" (Junie B. Jones and her Big Fat Mouth, p. 61)

When her sorority takes stacked pictures:

“The biggie kids stand in the back. And the shortie kids stand in the front. I am a shortie kid. Only that is nothing to be ashamed of." (Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed, p. 7)

When she's had enough of the caf's food:

“Want to bake a lemon pie? A lemon pie would be fun, don't you think?" (Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed p. 34)

When she forgets about an exam:

“Speechless is when your mouth can't speech." (Junie B. Jones Loves Handsome Warren, p. 54)

When she finds out she has enough credits to graduate:

“A DIPLOMA! A DIPLOMA! I WILL LOVE A DIPLOMA!" (Junie B. Jones is a Graduation Girl p. 6)

When she gets home from college:

"IT'S ME! IT'S JUNIE B. JONES! I'M HOME FROM MY SCHOOL!" (Junie B. Jones and some Sneaky Peaky Spying p. 20)

Cover Image Credit: OrderOfBooks

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15 Thing Only Early 2000's Kids Will Understand

"Get connected for free, with education connection"

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This is it early 2000's babies, a compilation finally made for you. This list is loaded with things that will make you swoon with nostalgia.

1. Not being accepted by the late 90's kids.

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Contrary to what one may think, late 90's and early 00's kids had the same childhood, but whenever a 00's kid says they remember something on an "only 90's kids will understand" post they are ridiculed.

2. Fortune tellers.

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Every day in elementary school you would whip one of these bad boys out of your desk, and proceed to tell all of your classmates what lifestyle they were going to live and who they were going to marry.

3.Bunnicula

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You could never read this book past 8 o'clock at night out of fear that your beloved pet rabbit would come after you.

4. Silly bands.

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You vividly remember begging your parents to buy you $10 worth of cheap rubber bands that vaguely resembles the shape of an everyday object.

5. Parachutes.

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The joy and excitement that washed over you whenever you saw the gym teacher pull out the huge rainbow parachute. The adrenaline that pumped through your veins whenever your gym teacher tells you the pull the chute under you and sit to make a huge "fort".

6. Putty Erasers

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You always bought one whenever there was a school store.

7. iPod shuffle.

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The smallest, least technological iPpd apple has made, made you the coolest kid at the bus stop.

8. "Education Connection"

You knew EVERY wood to the "Education Connection" commercials. Every. Single.Word.

9. " The Naked Brothers Band"

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The "Naked Brothers Band" had a short run on Nickelodeon and wrote some absolute bangers including, "Crazy Car' and "I Don't Wanna Go To School"

10. Dance Dance Revolution

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This one video game caused so many sibling, friend, and parent rivalries. This is also where you learned all of your super sick dance moves.

11. Tamagotchi

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Going to school with fear of your Tamagotchi dying while you were away was your biggest worry.

12. Gym Scooters

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You, or somebody you know most likely broke or jammed their finger on one of these bad boys, but it was worth it.

13. Scholastic book fairs

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Begging your parents for money to buy a new book, and then actually spending it on pens, pencils, erasers, and posters.

14.Go-Gurt

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Who knew that putting yogurt in a plastic tube made it taste so much better?

15. Slap Bracelets

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Your school probably banned these for being "too dangerous".

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