1. Getting the news

So whether you see it, read about it, or get that phone call that no one ever desires to receive... the hole that forms inside of us are the same.

It is like being punched in the stomach. Suddenly you can't breathe. Your body just shuts down and goes numb as if you could physically feel them leave you...You begin to panic because you are hoping the news is wrong...

2. Denial

Maybe you don't believe it... there's no way they could be gone. It is not true. They were so young. I hadn't gotten the chance to get that coffee date we always talked about, Or I just got to know them...

There's just no way.

And what hurts is the days you even will yourself to forget, only to be reminded of the harsh truth that is the reality that they are gone...

3. Anger

Why did they have to leave? What purpose does that serve this world? They were a wonderful person that only brought happiness to others and they were the ones taken! That doesn't make sense!

Or why on Earth would God give you someone so amazing in your life that you loved more than you ever thought you could love someone.... and then takes them away from you.

4. Bargaining

You think about all the things you said you were gonna do with them. The trips you were gonna take, the memories you were going to make... that now are only dreams that have been shattered.

How you should have texted them more? I should have done this____ instead. Maybe if I tried harder. Maybe if I would have done ____ they would still be here and I wouldn't be questioning myself why they are gone.

5. Depression

Then the sadness hits. And you cry...oh boy do you cry. When you think there are no more tears to shed somehow more fall. You cry so much it hurts. Your eyes are swollen, your chest hurts because you can't breathe. Your stomach aches.

And then you just find yourself sad and numb because you don't even know how to feel about it anymore. Your sad, mad, confused, empty all at the same time. And the only thing you keep remembering is that they are gone and there's nothing you can do to change it.

6. Acceptance?

I am still struggling with accepting them being gone. It's like you swear you still see them on campus or you still hear their voice across the room. Every time you pass that store, hear that song or go down that road you still think of them...

I know that I am blessed to have the time with them that I did. And I wouldn't trade a second I spent with them for anything. But man... what I wouldn't give is just one more second...

Losing someone is never easy. And we all deal with it differently... but it's okay to remember them, and think about them. It's okay to be sad, but its good to be happy and remember the good times and know that they wouldn't want you to be sad...

I miss you. And I love you always.