I have reached a point in my life where I am finally starting to see the bigger picture. I am actually seeing this in many parts of my life, but specifically in my relations with those around me. I think I now know why so many people have hurt me throughout my life. In the last twenty some years, I hated the way I was treated and it eventually led me to hate myself, but one can only hold in so much hate. The truth is, I gave up trying to be what everyone wanted me to be and this is where I ended up. For all of this hurt, I just want to say, thank you. I need to give such a big thank you to all those who have let me down, used me, hated me, or left me. This "thanks" is just a little taste of how far I have come since you and your mistreatment. You all have allowed me to become this strong person who knows pain but who now also knows perseverance.
To those who let me down, thank you for allowing me to see that no one is perfect and that we are all human. As well as that I should not be dependent upon others, but instead, depend on myself. To those who used me, thank you for allowing me to see that I am worth more that whatever you took from me. You allowed me to realize that there is a greater plan for my existence. To those who hated me, the saying became true, you are all my motivators. The hate allowed me to realize that I should be kind to myself because not many people out there will love me. To those who left me, thank you for allowing me to realize the people who are in my life to stay for the long haul. You allowed me to see who was there for me and not only for themselves. For all of the hurting that I have gone through, thank you.
While this thank you did not come fast nor did it come easy, it is here now and I am so happy to show it. I am in a truly good place in my life now and I find so much beauty in all of these trials and tribulations. Maybe I can find so much happiness because of how bad things were and how much different they are now. Maybe I am just simply happy and nothing is going to bring me down anymore. Or maybe it is because I know where I have come from and I have an idea of where I am headed. There are still so many "maybe's" in my life, but I know one thing is for sure if anyone else wants to hurt me out there, they better be ready for a big, long thank you.
This strength, courage, and honesty took me a few years to come by, but I am so happy I did. I have finally made it to the other side of things and all I have left to say is thank you for making me into this beautiful and strong person.
