To Those Feeling Lost and Confused

To Those Feeling Lost and Confused

Everybody feels this way and it's okay

Everybody says college is the part of everyone's life where you find yourself, find your lifelong friends, and make memories that will last you your whole life. But no one really tells you that it's going to be the most challenging and confusing part of your life.

Sure, I'm only a freshman and my knowledge about my future is already so slim, but these pressures to "make connections" and "try out for everything" are getting pretty difficult to understand. We try out for clubs we really want to join, but get rejected or just don't even qualify for it. How are we supposed to do what we want if we can't even get positions that will help us towards our future?

Every night my friends all meet together and discuss our days and we always get on the topic of what we want to do, if we're wasting our time, or if college is even right for us. Normally these conversations end with us in us in our feelings or we laugh it all off cause we find something more important to talk about. Talking about everything going on is a therapeutic way to get through things, even if you aren't receiving advice.

As said before, I'm a freshman, so I'm still in the process of getting used to everything college has to offer. But, I already have an idea of what I want to do with my life. Well, I have a lot of things I want to do with my life: be a makeup artist, have my own makeup company, train dogs, foster dogs, be a sports photographer, have a family, travel the world for my makeup company. Honestly, none of these dreams really need a college degree so every day I'm faced with the question: Why am I here? I believe I'm here for a reason, but it just hasn't been shown to me.

We all have our dreams and aspirations but getting there is the problem. College is the first time in many people's lives that they're away from their parents making these HUGE life decisions on their own. Yes, you can always call your mom or dad to listen to their insight, but ultimately, it's all up to you.

The point of this is to say that it's okay to feel lost. It's okay to feel confused. This is how life is supposed to be and honestly, if life lacked these feelings, what even is the point of challenging yourself? Life gets tough, but everyone seems to get through it, and you will too.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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A Girl Gets Raped At School Then Gets Suspended

Boys are always going to be boys, right?

How many cases have there been about young girls get raped? As of late rape is becoming a huge topic that some are still afraid to talk about. I am here to share a story of a ninth grader who is, of course, getting the blame rather than the boys that did the crime.

A female student who goes to Miami Carol Senior High School has brought claims to people about three boys who had raped her. Where did it happen? It happened in the bathroom at the school, yep you read that correctly. These students had taken advantage of another during the time they should be learning.

The fourteen-year-old who I'm going to refer to as Sarah claims she was sexually assaulted by three boys and gets suspended from the aftermath.

"He was holding onto my sweater really tight and I was trying to leave to get back to class, and he kind of just pulled me into the restroom," Sarah tells. She went to a teacher had told her about the incident that occurred. Eventually, the school suspended the boys but did not expel them.

I get that Sarah may be horrified or even scared to go to go due to what happened. Why does she need to be suspended? What did she do in the situation that she should get a strike for it? Maybe it's for Sarah's safety, maybe they are treating her unfairly.

Moving on, the first boy she says forced her to have anal sex while the others forced her to perform oral on them. However, the girl supposedly told the Mother that she didn't scream or run away leaving that as consensual.

Sigh, why does it always come down to that? If a girl or woman doesn't strike back it is considered consensual. I've read that in other cases before and I just don't understand how that can validate any situation. I'm sorry I didn't have enough time to fight back when I was being held down or forced.

As if this story could get any worse it did and fast. Two of the boys' families stepped forward and told the investigator something that no one wants to hear. One of the boys has gonorrhea and the other is HIV positive.

This girl is only fourteen years old and is going to have life ripped away. They had given Sarah medication just in case and she won't know if she is positive until a year later. Why? What did he do to deserve that?

The same with the boy though, it is a shame that he is HIV positive but why would you want to infect someone else? Why would you want to let someone else suffer from the same disease?

The school had released a statement which said “School district administrators in conjunction with Miami-Dade Schools Police are thoroughly investigating this case thoroughly, and it continues to be an active investigation. Information regarding the case has been provided to the State Attorney’s Office as well as the Department of Children and Families (DCF).”

Sarah is getting therapy and is staying away from the school which I said I would completely understand. Her Mother is stating that the district is being difficult with allowing her to transfer someplace else.

Rape isn't going to go away even if we want it to. People are still going to do the same thing no matter how hard we fight. It becoming the same fight over and over and there isn't much we can do.

I just hope that this won't be so popular in the news. With each and every story that comes up reads the same thing. Female gets raped by a male and they usual result in the winning of the man.

At some point we need to figure out a way to calm this but unfortnauly for us we can't make it stop.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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Full of Emotions: A poem

Not positive emotions, but they needed written

This is a poem that has been stewing in the back of my head for the past week, things that I've felt like I needed to voice and should've spoken up about ages ago.

Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy it.

I can't bring myself to love you.

I can't stand you

I almost hate you

and yet,

because of who you are,

I know it shouldn't be like this.

Does it make me a bad person

if I wish for your existence to end?

Does it make me evil

to wish no good to come to you?

If this is a sin,

I think it probably is,

I am not ready to repent for it yet.

All these feelings

I used to have for you

have been numbed

by the anesthesia of time.

Every time the anesthesia wears off

I learn a new thing to like

and almost just as quickly

another thing to hate.

You hurt me and you hurt

people I love

with equal abandon

and I can't forgive that.

Maybe it makes me a bad person

maybe I'm justified

in my feelings of dislike

and even if I am

I don't care.

My emotions have been

stunted for so long

because of you.

Being away from you,

I'm allowed to lower my defenses

and actually let my emotions grow

and attach myself to others.

Being away from you,

I realized how strange your love is,

how different your views are

and I've seen how far apart

you and I are now.

And I'm okay with it.

Cover Image Credit: Erdenebayar

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