If you live on the coast, you know that trips to the beach can take up family outings, spontaneous day trips with friends, and even school field trips. In a world where everyone loves the beach, this is perfect. For those of us who think otherwise, however, the beach can be seen as nothing more than a contained oven of damp sand and sweat. These are the parts of the beach and the culture that comes with it when you live on the coast and just can't seem to understand the hype.
1. Sand
While it's adorable to think of that small turtle wading through a sand mound, there is nothing adorable about finding sand in your shoes three days post-visit. Living on the coast means that a trip to the beach will call upon every grain of sand to cling to your skin, clothes, and accessories in a mass attack. Oh yeah, it's pretty to look at and take photos of, but once you're finding it in your water bottle, it loses its allure.
2. Beach novelty stores.
"Life's a beach." The amount of signs and placemats with that saying has infiltrated so many summer pool parties that it's almost a necessity to own for East Coast living. While the niche stores do provide a quirky and enjoyable time when perusing different shops near the water, some things are just too cliché to really understand in its entirety.
3. Ocean smell.
This one can be a fan favorite, though there are definitely cases where the stench of sea water just isn't cutting it. Considering that I have actually projectile vomited at the smell of low tide, I'm guessing it's not for everyone. When school field trips include the scents of the beach as well, it's only a matter of time before someone's lost their lunch. As for Yankee Candle, the anti-beachers should be wary of the bottled aroma of anything close to beach.
4. The idea of a "beach body."
There is a societal pressure to have the ideal "beach body." For those who enjoy the beach, there shouldn't be an expectation to lose any weight or change yourself to fully immerse yourself in the relaxation of your choice. Every body no matter the size, shape, color, or marking should be comfortable in being who they are without having any one else look down upon them. In a coastal area, this pressure may peak its head around far too often than not.
5. Heat.
The sun, for those who hate to feel sticky and sweaty, is the natural enemy — literally. A brief soak in a sunny afternoon can liven spirits and make people feel one with the world around them. Depending on the duration out in the rays, however, sunburns are another cause for beach mutiny. When temperatures start to pass the hundreds, it seems difficult to understand how breathing in humid air could be considered relaxing.
There is a privilege, of course, in living near a body of water. You can see the sun set over the horizon in a picturesque formation, catch fish and other critters on an afternoon stroll, and make some pretty colossal sandcastles. For those who've experienced all that and just can't see the appeal, I feel for you.
