Olivia
The black coffee’s bitterness stings her tongue like a bee. Bad idea, she thinks. She moves her eyes to the white front doors. She takes another sip of her coffee.
The setting sun’s rays find her eyes. She squints and looks outside through the coffee shop’s front windows. The shop’s patio guests consist of a few people bathing in golden light.
She sees a middle-aged woman talking and laughing with a man on a green couch. It makes her smile.
She sees an old man in filthy and worn out clothes sitting in a distanced chair and watching the shop through the same windows she’s watching. The image makes her sad; she frowns and looks away.
She sees a family of four sitting at a table and drinking what seems to be iced tea. Her heart drops and she brings her eyes back into the shop.
Tears quickly well up in her eyes. She wipes them away.
She reaches for her backpack and takes out her old worn out book that is missing exactly five pages. She’s been reading it again. It’s the last gift she ever received from her mother. She rereads the note on the first page for what seems to be like the one-hundredth time today:
My favorite book for my favorite little princess
-Mom
Olivia holds the book tight against her chest.
She looks at the door. It taunts her. She wants to leave, but she knows that if she leaves this place she will return to her lonesome apartment and cry until she falls asleep. She will lay in her bed and think about what happened exactly twelve years ago, today. She will embrace the darkness and let it embrace her. But she doesn’t want that. Not today.
She reaches for her backpack once more and takes out her laptop. She opens it and is received by her father, mother, and a younger version of herself. They’re all smiling and standing next to a tall oak tree with a lake in the background. Their last trip together. The picture makes her smile. She remembers how much she wanted to go swimming that time, but her parents would not let her because the day would soon be over.
“Livy, we said no. We will swim tomorrow. If you come inside, your momma will get you some ice cream,” her father had said with a smile. That was enough to convince her. She could never remember what kind of ice cream she had that day, but she likes to think it was salted caramel; her mother’s favorite.
“Beatrice!”, calls out a voice. She turns and sees the barista place a drink on the stand.
"Beatrice?," he calls again.
After a few seconds, a tall woman gets up to retrieve it, but her walk to the stand is parallel to a turtle’s. She seems hesitant; almost as if she does not want to get her drink.
Olivia returns to the picture.
She studies her parent’s faces. She sees herself in them; they're like a mirror that reflects her own face back.
She takes her mind back to the lake. Remembers them sitting around the fireplace. Her father reading her a story. Her eyes start filling with tears again.
“No, no,” she says aloud. “This is a good memory.”
They used to go to the lake every year. It was her favorite place. It was their favorite place. But she never returned after this trip. She never saw a point in returning without them.
What if I went back? she suddenly asks herself.
She considers the thought for a second but quickly decides against it. I couldn't do it, she thinks. But the thought stays floating in her brain like a ghost.
It's been twelve years, she thinks, maybe I should return. She bites her lip. She looks at the picture of her family again.
Quickly, Olivia opens up her web browser and searches the lake. The cabin resort office closes at 9 pm. She looks at her watch. 6:15. It's two hours away; she could make it.
I could check in for one night, she thinks. No, no, no, the other part of her argues. You don't even have anything with you, it says. She stares into space for a second.
Suddenly, she gets up from the table and grabs her things and puts them in her backpack. She leaves her cold black coffee on the table and heads for the white doors she has been wishing to touch all afternoon.
Just before she reaches them, they swing open. A man in a gray suit is holding them. He steps back and motions his hand to let Olivia pass. She smiles and thanks him, and he smiles back.
She passes the doors and hurries to her car. She gets inside and sets her phone's GPS to Lake Lone Wolf. She brings her car to life and starts driving.
She knows she might turn her car back. She knows she might end up in her apartment tonight. She knows this might just be an impulse that will soon disappear.
But she also knows that at this precise moment, she's driving to her family's favorite place. And that thought makes her smile.
