We all love the Marvel movies. There’s a reason they each make a billion dollars every time they come out – they’re hilarious, entertaining and extravagant, and it helps that each hero is played by a gorgeous actor or actress. Good job, Disney.
Putting aside "Guardians of the Galaxy," you’ve got a bit of a problem with the Avengers. You’ve got Captain America, the super soldier; Iron Man with his genius personality and powerful metal suit; Black Widow and Hawkeye as strong assassins; Bruce Banner and his big green another guy. Plus you have the newer avengers whom "Avengers: Age of Ultron" and "Captain America: Civil War" brought in – War Machine with an Iron Man suit, Scarlet Witch with her telekinesis and energy manipulation, Falcon with his flying suit, Ant-Man turning into a tiny person, Spider-Man with his powers, Black Panther and his claws and Vision being… Vision.
Then you’ve got Thor. Let’s admire him for a moment.
And let’s all come to the realization that he is a god. What are you doing in the Avengers, man? You literally can manipulate lightning. You live in this beautiful dimension, and you’re a prince there.
Plus, not to mention, a god.
Why are you even on Earth? And again, why are you in the Avengers?
He is a Norse God, a living legend, originating from mythological Roman records, who holds the power of the hammer Mjolnir. Also, he's played by Chris Hemsworth. That’s not relevant here, but simply an excuse to look at Chris again. Hi, Chris.
Instead of having him destroy other dimensions and other worlds with his badass god friends, Marvel places him on earth with the mere mortals in the Avengers. Maybe the reasoning here is that he kind of likes Natalie Portman and doesn’t want anything to happen to her. This backfires, though, considering she wasn’t even in the second "Avengers" movie, and she’s not cast in the third "Thor," coming out in 2017.
Also, he has this girl drooling over him back at Asgard.
What are you doing, man? Forget about Natalie Portman – Sif is a goddess and you probably wouldn’t have to worry about killing her every time you touched her -- which is probably a fear with Jane Foster, even if they never talked about it in the movies, you know, because he’s a god.
It makes sense that he comes to help in first "Avengers," considering all the problems were caused by his brother Loki (who is an evil bastard but beloved to the entire fanbase, because Tumblr). Also, the Tesseract seemed like bad news, so he had to bring that back to his daddy the King of Asgard, who is also a god.
But what was he doing flying around in the second "Avengers"? His only purpose there, it seems, is to have all his friends test to see if they can lift Mjolnir. Which, obviously, they can’t, until Vision comes along. He could easily just go home, considering that Ultron is not from another dimension and has nothing to do with Loki, and again, Natalie Portman isn’t even there, dude.
But the main issue that these movies fail to calculate is that he is a god. He should be more powerful than every other member of the Avengers combined – why are they pretending otherwise?
How does it make sense that the Norse God of Thunder is on the same team as a guy whose weapon is a bow and arrow? How does it make sense that when he fights Iron Man in the first "Avengers" film, he doesn’t kill him right on the spot? Captain America, Iron Man, Black Widow, etc.: they should have no chance against Thor, considering...
He is a god.
(The only one that is understandable is the Hulk because the Hulk is just scary.)
Sometimes in these movies, they show him harnessing the power of lightning and destroying a giant flying alien along with about ten of its little friends without breaking a sweat, and other times they show him fighting one foe by hitting it with his hammer as though he were a regular human. How does that make sense?
Answer: it doesn’t.
But we’ll forgive Marvel because, in the end, the movies are great.
Plus… Chris Hemsworth.
You can’t be mad at anything with Chris Hemsworth in it.
