When you become dependent on yourself, when you grow to love yourself and accept who you are, it takes a lot to break you down. Nonetheless, it is possible.
During my last week of school, one of my friends was kind enough to tell me about a not-so-positive comment that was made about me. (Disclaimer: I hear a lot of not so positive comments about myself on a day-to-day basis and I pride myself on not paying them much attention. What use is it dwelling on such things?) The thing is, this particular comment really threw me off. It went something along the lines of:
"Georgette? Yeah, she's definitely part of the problem. She encourages white supremacy. She's whitewashed. Heck, her boyfriend is white, pretty much all her friends are white, she likes white people..."
The person who said this about me, a Latino male, was one I'd only ever had a full conversation with once. It surprised me how from just one conversation that lasted less than 15 minutes, he was able to reduce me to one word. Whitewashed.
The thing is, this wasn't the first time someone thought that I was a "white ally" whatever the heck that means. In high school, a couple of people so wittingly gave me the nickname "Oreo"—Black on the outside, white one the inside. Why? Mostly because I don't sound or act Black. The thing is, the British men who colonized Kenya were white. I sound like my ancestors who were colonized by white Europeans. So take a geographical history class and learn something. So what the heck does it mean to sound Black? Act Black?
I am Black. Georgette Lugalia is as black as it gets. Straight out of the motherland. Born and raised. On a side note, Beyoncé is also Black. Some of you still have a hard time coming to terms with that. Anyways, I'm Black. How I act or sound has something to do with the fact that I'm Black but that's not all I am. My identity is based on my love for my family and friends, my love for God and my love for chocolate cake. On the fact that I don't want to "pop off" every time someone says something hurtful to or about me. Not on the fact that I hate fried chicken. Not on the fact that I'm not a controversial person. With that being said, there's nothing wrong with fried chicken or controversy they're just not my thing.
So to the guy who called me whitewashed, thanks. You choose to find the bad in every situation, I've heard you complain about literally everything and nothing. You constantly refer to yourself as oppressed. I'm not undermining your feelings. If you feel oppressed and hurt so be it. That's valid. But please don't tell me how I should feel or act. I cannot dwell on every racist remark that is directed at me. I just simply can't. Moving to what was seemingly the whitest, conservative, hick town in Washington from Nairobi Kenya, taught me that first hand.
Trust me, I've spent a fair share of my days listening to the negative remarks. I have my fair share of scars. I've been there. It's not like I don't hear what people say about me these days it's just that I choose to dwell on the good. Just like I'm not just Black, my White friends are not just White. I mean they are, but that's not their sole identifying factor. I date who I please. White, Hispanic, Black, girl, boy, I love them all and would willingly date them all based on who they are on the inside not what they look like on the outside. If that makes me whitewashed then so be it. I am whitewashed. Not to mention the fact that I also have a countless amount of Black friends, I also have Latino friends, my best friend is gay and my dad and siblings are white. Give me a break.
Actually, don't. Keep 'em coming. And I'll just keep doing my thing because I'd choose that over being miserable any day.
God bless.
