I woke up this morning. I dragged myself out of bed. I walked half-asleep across the bedroom. I walked down the hall. I had to put my foot on the edge of the stairs because I really have no interest in falling down the stairs. It'd be a long fall and I'm certain I would break something that doesn't need to be broken.

After I put my food on the step, I moved slowly. It's not because I couldn't move faster, it's simply because I was tired as hell and didn't feel like pushing myself any faster or farther than I had to. I made it down the stairs. I walked through the door. I walked down another hallway. And I found myself surrounded by my six cats. A couple of them sat on the floor. A couple more sat on the table. My fuzzy lion cat Olaf (yes, he's named after the snowman in "Frozen") sat on the kitchen counter. And they waited.

This is me. This is my life. This is what I see every day. I see cats. I looked into the other room. My dog Jill was sleeping in her cage. She lifted her head when she saw me walk into the room. She laid back down. She knew the routine. She would have to wait awhile until momma got home from work.

Jill is smart. She knows.

I have to shower. I have to feed the cats. I get her food ready. I put her bowl on the floor. I feed the porch kitties. Sometimes Joe, Momma (we named her that because she's had so many kittens) and Mandy are there. A few times, the black and white cat (she's not ours, so we haven't named her) is there too. It's a regular routine. They are at the house in the morning. They are at the house in the evening. They know the routine.

There are days I don't want to get out of bed. That's a human thing. There are days I want to sleep in until noon, I want to get up, drag my ass out of bed, walk down the hall, not change out of my shorts or t-shirt and not even leave the house. This is me. That's who I am.

I have a job. I go to work like other people do. I deal with high stress situations on some days. On other days, I have an easy job. I love what I do on some days, and I can't stand what I do on other days. It's just the way things go. And in between, I manage to read books, listen to music, go to church on occasion, spend time with a couple of my best friends, see my family, hang out with my daughter, talk to my other daughter who lives up in another state, and function like most people do. It's a busy schedule. I don't sleep as much as I should. I'm tired almost all the time. But this is me.

I've been me for almost 50 years. I've gotten out bed every day. I've gone to work since I was 11 years old when had a paper route. I was offered a job a couple of years later that required me to fill out an application, pay taxes, file tax returns and learn how to live a life. It's never been the same life. I've paid taxes. Bought a house. Gotten married. Had kids. Worked jobs. Breathed. Eaten. Slept. And gone through the same thing from start to finish every single day.

I should mention in the middle of this story that I've battled depression. I've fought anger issues. I've gone through hundreds of friends who I couldn't trust, couldn't talk to and got tired of being lied to by. I've gone through relationships years past. I've struggled with things many people struggle with. And through it all, this is me. It's who I am. And it'll be the same me tomorrow, next week and next year.

I hope I'm still around this time next week, next year or five years later.

It's not who I want to be sometimes. I'd like to be something or someone else. I'd like to be anyone but myself. I'd like to be a different person some days. I'd like to have another job some days. I'd like to be happier. I'd like to be more outgoing. I'd like to be friendlier. I'd like to stop being so shy and nervous about going out with new people. I'd love to have more friends. I'd love to have a better life on some other days.

This is me. It's who I am. I've been trying to change it for most of my life. And so far, it's still not working. But as I've always said, there's always tomorrow.

Tomorrow. I will wake up, drag myself out of bed, walk half-asleep down the hallway, go through the motions and do it all over again. I'm sure you know the story. I'm sure you get where I'm coming from. You can't tell me that you're happy with who you are every single day of the year. You can't tell me that you always love what you do, where you work and who you are. You can't tell me that you are happy 100% of the time. If you said that, I'd call you a liar.

i'm not always happy. I don't always have a smile on my face. I don't always make the perfect choices. I don't always have the smartest things to say. I don't always do my job perfect. I can't always please everyone in my life. But this is me. It's who I am. It's how I do things. It's the way I have to live my life, even if sometimes it's not what I want or who I want to be.

But this is me. And it's not going to be anything different from today through tomorrow. And if you can't accept it? It's been nice knowing you. I've lost friends. I've lost relationships. I'm sure it won't be the last time. It certainly hasn't been the first time.

This is me.