"Secure your doors!"
The loud speaker that rang true all day long. The person behind it was a human being just like me. Only I was in a tan cloth uniform and she had a taser on her waist. Discipline was her name and R-E-S-P-E-C-T was her game. One foul word and rotation was cancelled. Caged animals in a zoo pleading to get out. Pods weren't full of nicotine; but people. The days were long and the nights even longer, screams from the opposite tier kept me awake at night with only a thin, raggedy linen blanket to keep the monsters away. Hoping. Praying. Every day. I considered it lucky when I was able to fall asleep and stay that way. Dreaming of a land far, far away. A home for grownup kids who just wanted to be in Neverland; too bad Peter Pan skipped this house and left us to never land.
"Masks Up! Ass Down!"
It was a blessing to be in the dayroom. Anything outside of the cell was like field day. Play the right way and you might get to stay. One wrong move though and we lost rotation for a day. We had to stay seated for what felt like eternity but even in the gym there was something still sedentary. Stuck like glue with a room full of 72. These women are people too. You see the repetition? You understand the cycle? Wasn't I just in the free world riding my bicycle? I turned into Dr. Seuss because to me that was the only way to spread good news. Kites were paper, not those things in the sky. One time I saw an airplane and it made me cry. Chicken fried fake was my meal of choice. "Chow Time" was my favorite noise.
"Mail Call!" and "Commissary's Here!" might be a close second. But only temporarily because most of us were indigent. Family is born and strangers become sisters. I never would've pictured myself here but truthfully, who does? I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy and that's no cap. Sent out some letters; didn't hear anything back. One love no matter what and everything was okay. Today was rough, "tomorrow will better" they say. "Tomorrow" came a month or so later. I was blessed, stressed, and pretty depressed. "How can that be?" You ask. I was fed three times a day regardless, I had a roof over my head, clean(ish) clothes, and a commode right by my bed. I looked for the positives every day-thank God for my bunkie who never let me stray.
One day I'll tell the tale in a more respective way. Truth be told though, the girl that ended up there...she had to stay. I came out a woman with more experience under my belt. This is where I was when the witch in me had to melt.
