You mean more to me than words will ever describe.

There are a lot of people that cross my mind during the day. Countless individuals who run through my head for so many different reasons. Thoughts like, “Which friend borrowed my controller again?” Yet those types of thoughts pale in comparison to what enters my mind when you come into it.

I think back to the moments where my life changed because of you. The first time we met was probably the biggest one because neither of us could know that we’d be great friends so many years down the line. I want to take this time to say: thank you. I really want to thank you for everything you’ve ever done.

I remember nights where my skin was crawling and my mind felt numb you would send countless messages that flooded my phone and computer making sure everything was okay. I remember for months after one of the worst nights I have ever had you checked up on me every single day. You saw the worst of me so you got the best of me. You stuck around. That stuck with me.

When everyone else was walking out, you stayed true to me. You always made time for me even when it may have been inconvenient. You spent day after day after day with me not because you felt you had to, but because you wanted to. When the world stopped turning and I manually had to force it to keep going, I had you to help me with it. There are a lot of problems and struggles I face and you really let me know that I don’t have to do any of it alone.

You started as an acquaintance, someone I felt I could talk to every so often but not someone I’d be able to go to with the most severe and gut-wrenching problems I faced. Eventually, something happened which resulted in us getting closer and closer. Eventually, this extended far beyond a friendship. I think of the way you laugh; I think of the way you make stormy days bright. My mind wanders endlessly about the uncertainty of the future, and knowing that I will always have at least one constant outside of my family helps tremendously. This sounds so corny, but you really need to know what you’re doing for me.

I can trust you. I need to trust the person I confide in. I’ve had difficulty with it for a long time, but you made it so easy. You kept your mouth closed when I needed you to most. You let me talk and heard me out. I don’t mean you just sat there and nodded as I choked out information that would make most people take off because they can’t stand seeing me that way or listen to what I’m saying because it’s too much for them to handle. You were there. You would sit down. You would take the time to try and understand, and while you can’t always empathize, you give me the time I never think I deserve.

You let me know that it’s okay to be myself. You never told me. You never vocalized and straight up told me that being myself is okay. Instead, you showed me what it’s like to be myself because you were always yourself. I felt inadequate. I felt like something. Actually...no, I didn’t. I didn’t feel like anything but you gave me something. You gave me the gift of who I am inside. You didn’t wrap up it and make it all neat with a bow. You didn’t put it in a bag crowded with tissue paper and a card. You grabbed me by my hands and took me to places that only existed in the unrealistic parts of my mind.

This is my thank you. This is my letter to you. These are the words I chose, and the way I feel about the friendship you’ve given me cannot be overstated. You’re more than just a shoulder to cry on. You’re more than a laugh and more than a truly beautiful soul. You are everything. You are my best friend.

You are the most beautiful human being to me, and in a world that’s always lacked stability, you gave me something I could hold onto.