Dear World,
No this isn't about politics. I mean maybe it is, but not really. Today I am writing about how I feel as a person. Honestly, it isn't pretty. This also isn't about you specifically, more so that it is about me. Maybe I can be a voice for others out there who feel the same way. I don't know, but I can speak for myself.
Something was brought up to me the other day, but looking back on my life, it has always been there. This overwhelming sense that I am not accepted in the way I see and accept myself. I know that in life, not everyone will put up with me, and that isn't the goal. I'm not even sure what I want as a result of this letter. What I do know is that from the moment I was placed on Earth, I have not felt that one person living on this planet that has 100% accepted me (sorry friends and family, but even you). I am not mad that you don't. I'm not upset by this realization; I want to get people thinking. Thinking about how we talk about each other's personal views, our ethnicities, our recognitions.
On the outside, I am white. That's how I look to others, but, I am also black. I am biracial. What hurts the most about this is that people tell me that I am not black. To me, there is a difference between my friends joking with me and people who I have never met telling me I am not my ethnicity. The keyword in that sentence being my. My friends can joke with me about it, it still hurts that they do it, but I know that they aren't judging me. When a complete stranger does it, it feels painful and judgemental. Especially some "white" people. What hurts the most though is when a black person does that to me. I don't know why it hurts more. It's not every black person who I meet, and it's not every white person I meet that does this, but no matter what, someone outright denying how I identify myself, is painful.
I am biracial, yes, but that does not mean that I identify with the color of my skin. Internally I am black, but my exterior is white. In discussing all of this, I have to pose this important question: when did your perception of my ethnicity become more important than my own? In a world that is already so divided socially, why seek to further that by trying to put me in a box? I am proud of who I am, of my make-up and I'm not trying to deny one or the other. Go ahead, start a dialouge! All I ask is that before saying, "No you aren't Jamaican," or "There's no way you are Jamaican," think about how those words might feel if someone said them to you. Think about how the words may sound if they were being received by you.
Sincerly,
The Girl Who Seems to Never Be Enough
