Tattoos used to have a reputation for being gaudy, stock images people needle stick-and-poked on their bodies. They weren’t symbols, they weren’t art; they were drunken mistakes that ended up on your butt cheek. Tribal bands, fairies, and stars dominated what people imagined having tattoos meant.
Fortunately, this over exaggerated trope is quickly dissipating and an appreciation for the meanings of tattoos has become more widely accepted. No longer merely labeled “tramp stamps,” many people now view tattoos as masterpieces and powerful feats of strength, defining a life story and all of the trials and tribulations that come with being human.
Although tattoos have become more mainstream and widely accepted, talking about your tattoos still contains traces of awkwardness, judgment, or misunderstanding. Many people show excitement or respect the unspoken confidentiality of tattoos, but many still don’t understand the sensitivity of the decision to permanently ink your body.
I have three tattoos, all of which symbolize meaningful experiences in my life. Many people don’t know I have them or the stories behind them, but that’s because tattoos are for the people who get them, not the people who ask about them. My first tattoo is on my ankle and when I got it, I hid it most days. “Don’t you want to show it off?” my mom asked me one day. No, I responded because I got my tattoo as a reminder to myself, not as an awkward starter question on a date. And trust me, nothing is more awkward when someone on the first date asks you what your tattoo represents. This doesn’t mean that many people don’t get tattoos as an art form, or that they shouldn’t show them off because for the amount of pain you sit through you want it to be worth something. But instead of assuming that that’s why someone got a tattoo, we need to practice more sensitivity and not jump to conclusions.
Which leads me to all of the uncomfortable, awkward or offensive shit my tattooed friends and I have heard from friends and strangers alike about our tattooes. In order to help you avoid this common issue, I’ve compiled a list of things NOT to say to someone who has tattoos.
1. Did it hurt?
Of course getting tattoos hurts, it’s literally a needle searing ink into your skin. Instead, ask: How badly did it hurt? Some areas hurt more than others, so this renders a more interesting conversation about tattoo placement then just questioning someone on their pain tolerance.
2. Tattoos are unprofessional.
This is often associated with the question: why did you get it there? Unfortunately, many jobs and professional settings still frown upon tattoos. Because of this, many people still believe in getting inked places where you can easily conceal your self expression. However, we get tattoos where we get them because of this freedom of artistic expression. The other day my dad asked why I wanted to get a tattoo on my forearm if I didn’t know where I would end up working and I might have to cover it. My response was: I have three nose piercings and purple hair, I don’t think a tattoo is an employer’s top concern. Besides, associating tattoos with an “unprofessional” attitude automatically and discriminatorily places people in a preconceived box which is completely inaccurate. Tattoos are not a measure of one’s intelligence or working capabilities.
3. You’re going to regret this later in your life.
Maybe I will, but if it was worthy of inking on my body now, it obviously represents an important moment or message in my life at this instance. It might be obsolete in the future, but it will also be fascinating to look back on my tattoos in the past and remember what I valued when I was younger. It’ll be like a scrapbook on my body.
4. It’s going to fade and bleed and sag as you get older.
Maybe, but nothing lasts forever. Enjoy it while it’s there. Also, if someone uses grey ink, you can’t assume it was black and merely faded to grey.
5. Oh there’s a [insert mistake here].
There’s many variations of this, and I’ve heard it many times said about one of my tattoos. Never say this about someone’s tattoo. Chances are they already know there’s a mistake, but tattoos aren’t perfect. Sometimes linework isn’t completely straight or colors strayed out of the lines. We embrace these imperfections because they make our tattoos unique. Pointing out a flaw in someone’s tattoo is like pointing out a birth mark. We can’t remove it or change it or alter it, so instead we celebrate the flaws.
6. Only easy girls get tattoos.
Do I even need to point out how incorrect and offensive this is?
7. Tattoos are tacky.
They’re art. Let’s move on.
8. What does it mean?
As I mentioned above, tattoos are personal and private. When we don’t answer this question it’s not meant to be rude, but I don’t owe anybody an explanation of what my tattoos represent. So I’m sorry, cashier at Walgreens that I ignored your question and went on my way.
9. Why did you get that?
This usually refers to why you picked that specific symbol to represent a message. Case in point: I have an airplane tattoo. Many people ask me if it’s because I like to travel. It’s not. It represents a process. But it’s still frustrating to hear people misconstrue an image
10. The age old quote: “Would you put a bumper sticker on a Bentley?”
As a matter of fact, I would. I don’t tell you what to do with your body, so I would appreciate the same courtesy from others.
