I have the tolerance of a toddler. Heat, light, and hunger can knock me to the ground in a heap for hours.

I’ve learned I need to carry half of my belongings with me at all times to survive necessary shopping trips and life in general. My friends think I’m silly until they get hangry and I wordlessly shove a granola bar in their hands.

Here’s a comprehensive purse/satchel list so that you too can walk across campus with your backpack, lunch bag, and bag slung over your shoulders, with a smile on your face, dang it.

Water

If you’re like me and want to potentially survive an emergency while walking around downtown, you should have at least a bottle or two on you at all times. Plus, if you get a cool Hydroflask, you can feel like a hipster.

Snacks

You can’t have enough of these. Pack five times as many as you think you need, because those hungry mooches you call your friends will wipe you out in half a second flat, if given the chance.

Gum

You can pretend like it's actual food if your friends eat all your snacks.

A Sweater

Carry a flannel or sweater with you everywhere you go, and you’ll never be cold again. Because cold is the devil. Even too cold AC in the summer.

A Book

Because reading is awesome.

Another Book

I mean, you might finish the first one.

Headphones

You can listen your way through "Hamilton" and get awkwardly emotional in public, or you can just put in headphones without music to avoid human contact. Either option is excellent.

A Pen and Journal

This lets you take notes without looking like the phone obsessed millennial that you are. Unless you’re one of those oddballs who still has a flip phone that doesn’t do anything exciting. *Waves from the void of 10 plus years of outdated technology.*

Phone Charger

Going back to that phone obsessed millennial comment, it really sucks when your phone dies in the middle of the day.

Advil

People are annoying. Advil can help.

Tampons

You don’t want to get caught in a metaphorical hurricane without these puppies. Even if you don’t need them, carry them around for the benefit of someone else. It’s an excellent conversation starter.

Seven chapsticks

Keeping one at a time is just way too sensible.

Senseless Garbage

No one knows what good it does, but it’s an essential in my bag, no matter how hard I try to prove otherwise.