1 in 8 children in America lose a parent before the age of 20. I just happened to be one of those kids who did. There is so much I have learned and conquered since my Dad died in 2016. These things I have learned, enhanced how I live each and every day.


1. YOU LEARN HOW PRECIOUS LIFE AND MOMENTS ARE.
You might start to be aware that at this moment of your life you can't get back. So you have to make the most of it. You realize you spend too much of your life, wishing it was something else. You don't enjoy the moment. When we slow down and take a moment to breathe.. we start to realize every moment matters, we realize life is short and it goes by fast, and we realize nothing or anybody in life is permanent. So we learn to cherish it all because it was given to us.

2. YOU LEARNED TO CHERISH EVERYONE AND TAKE NOBODY FOR GRANTED
The tragedy you experienced definitely changed you. You have a ton of regrets, of not spending enough time with your loved ones. You might have never expected it all to come as quick as it did. But it happened, so you learn to always say "I love you" to the people who are in your life's, to never go to bed with grudges, to always remember that something you have today might not be something you have tomorrow, and we learn tomorrow isn't guaranteed; not for us and not for the people we love.

3. YOU LEARN ADULTS WHO ENCOUNTERED LOSS, WILL TELL YOU THEY KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH, BUT THEY DON'T.
I thank every adult who has tried to comfort me, with their situations of losing a parent when they are grown. I learned it is not the same as when you are young. My dad won't be here to see me go off to prom, graduate, walk me down the aisle, meet my grandkids and watch me grow. Meanwhile, your parent got to do all the above with you. I've learned they equate the situation to show sympathy which I greatly appreciate. I just don't believe the scenarios are the same.

4. YOU LEARNED NOT EVERYONE UNDERSTANDS AND YOU CAN'T BE ANNOYED.
I spent a great portion since 2016 being bitter because nobody could understand and relate to what I was going through. Now I have learned, I'm happy they can't relate to what I was going through. The pain I felt when I lost my dad, is a pain I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. It's a pain that shatters your heart into a million and one pieces and it takes a while to become whole again.

5. YOU LEARNED HOW MUCH PEOPLE COMPLAIN ABOUT THEIR PARENTS TO ME.
Before my dad died, we fought a lot. All out of love, but we fought. There were times I would go to my friends and say "My dad is so annoying". When my friends come to me now and complain about their parents, my heart breaks. It makes me mad when people don't appreciate the love their parents give them. I would do anything for my dad to ground me, or bother me, or yell at me. They don't realize people would love to trade places with them.

6. YOU LEARNED YOU NEVER STOP WORRYING ABOUT THINGS
You have learned life can be over in a blink of an eye. So you're always keeping your eyes open, and worrying about things you don't need to worry about. You went through a tragedy that makes you think of the worst outcome for every situation.

7. YOU LEARNED TO CHOOSE YOUR WORDS MORE CAREFULLY.
You understand how important words are. Words can literally make or break someone. You always fix a broken relationship because you know anything can happen. No matter how angry you are at someone, you always find a way to fix it. You know it could be the last time you ever see them, so you always appreciate them.

8. YOU LEARNED PEOPLE REALLY DO USE CLICHE PHRASES.
I cannot express how many people texted me "he's in a better place now", "he is watching over you now", "he's finally home". These were the last things I ever wanted to hear. As much as I appreciate your attempt in comforting me. I got angered... I never believed he was in a better place because he never suffered when he was at home with us. His better place is down here with his family.

9. YOU LEARN HOLIDAYS ARE NOT THE SAME.
I have a fairly big family, and as much happiness and joy there is with my family. You always know there is a part missing, and the void will never be filled. You wish your parent was there at Thanksgiving eating turkey with you, you wish he was there to watch you open gifts, you wish he was there to see you turn a year older, and for me, Father's Day is filled with sad and depressing emotions.


10. YOU LEARN TO APPRECIATE YOUR OTHER PARENT.
My momma means the absolute world to me. I have the constant fear of something happening to her. If something happened to her, I don't know what I would do with myself. You learn that who they are, is everything you hope to be someday. I have personally learned that "you are growing up, and they are growing old".

11. YOU LEARNED HOW TO BE STRONG.
Despite everything you have experienced. You never expected you would make it through. But you learned that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, the sun will still shine, it can't rain forever and since you survived this, you can survive anything.

I will absolutely never forget my dad. He was a one of a kind man. I will forever hold onto the memories~ laughs~ and love. Hopefully, I will continue making him proud. Furthermore, nobody can ever replace him in any way. I will always be daddy's little girl.

I love you always, Dad.