Valentines Day is fast approaching and with love in the air, I wonder what it is that makes people fall in and out of love. Before my first love, I was clueless as to what love was. I had no idea how to even act or what to say, but there are so many things I wish I would have known before my first love. Relationships are tricky and I don't think there will ever be an exact answer on what love is, and to be honest I still have no idea how to describe love, but there are a few things I wish I would have known before my first relationship that probably would have been beneficial.

I wish I would have known how to stand up for myself. I was so young and so scared to speak about what was on my mind if something bothered me. If I could tell myself I would say don't be afraid to be upset as long as it's a reasonable reaction you don't have to tiptoe around your significant others feelings when you're upset about something they did.

With that being said, I wish I would have known how to not overreact. Although there were times when my reaction was needed there were also times that I should have remained calm. I didn't need to get so angry so quick because sometimes all we needed was just to talk.

I wish I would have known when to say enough was enough. I put up with so much disrespect and heartbreak for so long. I overlooked so many lies that should have been addressed.

I do give you props. You did make me happy, but I wish I would have known the difference between being happy and then just the fear of being alone. In the beginning of our relationship I was truly happy with you, but eventually, I just feared the thought of being alone that I forgot how to put myself first.

I wish I would have known how confused you would make me. There were times I was certain that you were what I wanted and times I just wasn't sure If it was right for me.

Love is built on laughter, compromise, friendship, and caring about the other person, and even sometimes some arguments. I experienced my first love and it was amazing and difficult all at the same time. I learned to love, argue, laugh and experience a form of happiness. I wish I would have known how much I was going to love you and resent you all at the same time. I forgave you a long time ago for my sake, but there are so many things I wish I would have known before I met you because then my first relationship would have gone a lot smoother. Then again you helped me grow and I became a stronger person because of it.