There are many things I wish I knew before my freshman year of college. Looking back, I feel as though I was not prepared for anything, except the actual school work. No one told me how to mentally and emotionally prepare for my first year of college. Everyone told me about the parties, the friends, the teachers, the coaches, the school work, the environment and the boys. A lot of people told me that is where you're going to spend the next four years.
After 4 months at my first college, I started to get this feeling of unhappiness. I was genuinely sad to think that I would have to spend the next four years there. Luckily for me, that was not my case. I will not spend the next four years miserable at my first college. No one ever tells you it's OK to change your mind!
I came home for Christmas break excited and ready for any and all overwhelming love from my family and dogs. After having a really rough first semester, I was not excited to go back in the upcoming weeks. With this in mind, I went out to lunch with my mother one day. After ordering our drinks, she looked me dead in the eye and asked me if I wanted to go back for the second semester. I wish my mom took a picture of what my facial expression looked like.
A complete rush of happiness and relief washed over me. As Derek Shepherd said in Grey's Anatomy, it was like I was drowning and her asking me that was like a breath of fresh air. With such amazing parents who support me every step of the way, they helped me with every step of the process applying, deciding, writing letters to school presidents, coaches, and friends and most importantly paying.
I didn't go back. But instead started a new at a place I originally thought was temporary. I am happy to say that I can see myself really thriving at my new school. In the past 9 months, I have truly realized how important family is. I am so lucky to have parents who love me so unconditionally. They realized how unhappy, how not myself, I was. And now, I am happy, but more importantly, I feel like myself.
So looking back, I have no regrets. I know that experience was meant to be apart of the path I am on. It helped shape who I am as a person. It made me stronger. I left my freshman year having gone to two different schools in two different states. And what did I take from my freshman year? I took a simple phrase: Do not ever settle for less. Your happiness comes first, always. If you don't like something in your life, change it. Always do what is best for you no matter what.
