Now, if you’re a Trump supporter, I realize the title may have led you to believe that this article is pro-Trump. It’s not, sorry to disappoint. But thank you for the view.
As for those of you reading this who still are grieving from the recent election, I speak to you now. While you are understandably worried about what may happen over the next four years, let's not forget that there are also some things to look forward to:
1. His Inauguration
Though it may go down in history as the day we willfully gave America over to a tyrannical tangerine, it wont be a total loss because as he swears in we'll all be blessed with that image of his little baby hand on that big ol’ bible.
2. His First Pet
Obama had Bo, so what will Trump have? I predict either a cat so he can satisfy those pussy-grabbing urges, or a hamster in case whatever is already residing on his head wants a day off.
3. Formation Of His Cabinet
If we let the election be our guide, the cabinet will also be full of reality TV stars who don’t know jack about shit. I'm thinking Kim Kardashian, Honey Boo Boo, Snooki, and Sarah Palin.
Oh wait… what was that?
Too many women?
You’re right, it will probably just be the cast of Duck Dynasty
4. He Isn't Gonna Waste Time And Will Get Things Done On Day One
Starting with fixing that cracking glass ceiling that people are always talking about.
5. He'll Freshen Up Some Of The Presidential Duties
He’ll bring presidential speeches into the 21st Century by tweeting State of the Union addresses in all caps at 3 o’clock in the morning.
6. Improvements In Education
If you’re a fairly young person, you’ll get to experience World War III firsthand. So that’s one less history test you’ll have to worry about. Yeah!