It’s at this time of the year I find myself reflecting, like lots of people. And if this year was one of our least favorites as a country, world, and culture, it was definitely one that brought personal struggles for me individually. I wouldn’t say it was one of my worst. I brought my GPA up, made incredible memories at college, started dating a wonderful guy, and took lots of photos (my favorite). But among the ups that came with 2017, there were some downs. Through those rough spots, I learned a lot about myself. There are huge lessons I’ve learned this year that I will carry with me into 2018. Here are a few of them.
1. People always show you who they really are (this is inspired by a Maya Angelou quote).
Your real friends won’t ever act in a way that could hurt you and would never jeopardize their friendship with you. And while cutting off toxic people isn’t easy, it’s important to know your worth as a friend and know that you’re not just an accessory to a group. You have value and if someone can’t find it in them to see and respect that, you’re better off spending your time elsewhere.
2. You often miss the memories, and not the person or people.
When it comes time to change your course and cut off the people who have hurt you, you’ll find yourself missing the good moments you hold in your memories. Often, that leads you to believe you’re missing a person. Usually, that isn’t the case. More likely than not, the memories and the feelings you had are left behind. Being careful with your own heart and your valuable time requires that as you go through life, you remember why you moved on from anything, whether that’s friends or a job or a relationship.
3. At the end of the day, a few incredible friends are better than many false friends.
I feel like I’ve always had a large group of friends. We had big game nights, group outings, New Year’s Eve parties, and so much fun. In college, my group of friends and I were nearly inseparable. But this second year a lot has changed, and I’ve found myself on my own more or sticking with a few great friends.
It was never my intention to be that girl, but the security that comes from trusting few but trusting deeply, befriending few but enjoying close and great friendships is something I have learned to cherish. It’s not about having a huge circle. It’s about having a few to fall back on when things get rough. Independence is important and sometimes shifting to that kind of lifestyle isn’t easy. But there’s a lot of joy in it.
4. With each passing year, home is less of a place and more of a feeling or a group of people.
Coming home for the holidays is so important to me. And growing up in the bay area was more than I could have ever asked for. Pleasanton, my small town, will always be my childhood location entitled “home.” But as I get older, travel, meet people, and live on my own, I find that home isn’t so much where you are or what city you choose to reside in, but who you’re with. I feel at home wherever my family is.
We could be on vacation, sitting on our couch, or on a road trip and I’d still feel safe and at home with my parents, brother, and sister. I feel at home where I find my passions, where the people I love are, and where I can pursue my goals. I feel most at home when I’m surrounded by people who are important to me and who I cherish. Lucky for me, that means a home is more than one place.
5. Never forget how important your mental health is. No success can be found without a healthy mind; don’t kill yourself chasing a dream, because if you do, you’ll find that dream feels pretty empty when you get there.
I’ve found myself pursuing goals and working at things that weren’t always healthy for me this year. I made changes, stepped away, and most of all I learned about the importance of my mental health. When you’re making goals and pursuing your idea of success, you need to remember that being healthy mentally is a part of being successful.
If you’re sick with stress and anxiety trying to make something happen, it isn’t making you happy or healthy. Getting to where you want to go in life doesn’t work if half of your vehicle to get there is broken down or running on flat tires. Half of that vehicle is your mind. Take care of it, always.
2017 wasn’t a great year, but it also wasn’t completely lacking in good moments. I learned a lot, and I hope each of you learned lessons on your own that you can take into the new year. Thank you for reading.
