Bouncing you're voice around is a strenuous, unnecessary task. This of course is best exemplified by television characters like April Ludgate and Daria Morgendorffer, paving the way of hilarity for those of us who save voice fluctuation for only very rare times. You don't choose to be monotone though, it chooses you, and unfortunately, it comes with its complications.
1. People Always Think You're Sad
Or mad. People always think you're unhappy or there's something wrong. There rarely is anything wrong, though, that's just how we sound.
2. People Can't Tell If You're Actually Being Nice
We know we sound very half-assed giving that compliment, but I mean it with the upmost sincerity. We're not joking either when we ask about interesting things in your life, we really are interested!
3. You Come Off A Lot Meaner Than You Actually Are
Unless you are mean. Otherwise, though, the amount of extreme un-enthusiasm when meeting people can put you off on the bad foot, and you have to try extra hard on that first day of class to sound excited to be there (even when you're definitely not).
4. There Tends To Be Side Effects
These, of course, include an unending stream of sarcasm and a matching bitchy resting face. Because why not confuse people more about how you're actually feeling with a dead pan voice to match your dead pan face and track record of a high level of sarcastic comments.
5. You Can Still Express So Much, Without Expressing Anything at All
Your poker face (or poker voice) is always strong, and the lack of interest is intimidating. Really, it's the monotone people who hold all the power, while others are left guessing if we actually cared about what they told us, we know the truth and have neutral-voiced them enough to leave them unharmed.
So here's to those of us that are full of sunshine but keep a flat voice about it. Here's also to us that have as indifferent of an attitude as we do a voice. Either way my fellow monotone voices, know that there's nothing wrong with saving a change in vocal pitch for those special blue moon occasions.
