Yes, I have a cat. Well, she's my brother's cat, technically, but she lives in my house. If you're a cat owner, you've definitely talked to your pet, and not in baby talk, or anything along the lines of "you're so cute", more along the lines of what you'd say to another human, or something more entertaining.
More like "Wrow" or "rrrm" or really just imitating whatever noise the kitty's making. Although, you're probably saying something random in cat speak.
2. Calling the cat anything but its name
I'm the only one in the house who doesn't coo over the cat, so calling her "Cat" would be understandable. But, I've heard that even the most devoted owners... erm, worshipers call their cat everything but their name. Tell me I'm right.
3. What kind of wet food do you want today?
As if they can understand, but hey, every living thing should have an opinion on flavors. The resident cat is into anything with gravy, and happily meows when she's fed a Gravy Lovers wet food.
4. Patience, *Insert Cat Name Here*, you'll get your food
It's dinner time, time to wash out the bowl for wet food. All the sudden you hear "Meow meow meow meow meow!" Yes, we humans like food too, but even with our opposable thumbs, we can only open food so quickly.
5. Dude, what are you looking at?
Sometimes a cat just sits in front of you and stares. It can be a little creepy, since you don't know what it wants. Love? To be petted? A treat? Maybe plotting your murder? What?
6. Want a treat?
Usually that's answered with a mew as a yes, jump on the table, whatever. Who doesn't want a treat? And there's so many different kinds. Cheese? Why are there not gravy treats for humans?
7. Sorry, we can't open the window
Cats like looking out the window, feeling the breeze, that's cool. But then it's not cool. It's 90 degrees. Then it is cool, it's 40 degrees. Do you want that breeze kitty cat? No, you don't.
8. Sure, sure, do whatever you want. Be a cat.
The thing that makes cats better than dogs is that they like to do their own thing and don't require attention every moment of the day. This means maybe they don't want to be petted, but really, it's cool. And they do weird stuff like jump in or rub their faces against boxes when they're on their own.
Who knows if your cat can understand all that, but I guess a meow in response can be enough... Even if they're not sure if they're answering you or cursing you out.