What do you mean it isn't all about me all the time?
The only child is a breed of people that are misunderstood by the masses. As an only child myself, I understand the everyday struggles or the wonderful benefits that are part of "the only child" package deal. Now if you are or know someone that is an only child, then you will understand every single on this list to its fullest.
1. Your face is everywhere around your house.
And by your face I mean your pictures. They are everywhere. Along the stairs, in bedrooms, in bathrooms, on night stands, on screen savers, etc. I came home from college for winter break and I was appalled at the 42 pictures I found of myself around the house. I promptly asked my mom if she was still grieving my death or if the shrine was getting her through.
2. Christmas is your favorite day of the year.
Why you ask? Well, if you are the only child your parents are buying for then you are also the only child that is receiving gifts from them. Which means you basically get everything you want, the day is practically about you, and opening presents is an all-day event because a sizable amount of them are for you. Yeah. It's kind of the best day ever.
Oh and Santa always gave you the good stuff. Always.
3. What is sharing?
We don't do this. It is very hard for us to share, I had to learn how to share with my mom. I cannot even tell you how hard it is to share things like food or the remote or responsibility or attention.
I mean it is just so exhausting, I don't know how normal people do it.
4. Independence = happiness.
She was always embarrassed by that, because typically their parents would be sitting right beside her...oops.
5. We are weird.
Right now you are thinking of people you know that fall into this category aren't you?
Don't lie....
I know you are.
6. Friendships are a struggle.
Yeah, most of the time we just connect better with adults because who else did we associate with for the majority of our childhood?!
I just never felt like I could connect to my peers, I always felt mentally 20 years older than everyone I knew. Therefore, most of my lunches were spent socializing with my teachers. Specifically, Mike Felton, he was my AP government teacher that oddly looked like Teddy Roosevelt. That man knew what was up. We would sit most mornings, drink coffee and shoot the breeze. Granted, this isn't a normal only child behavior, rather a normal Kendall behavior.
7. Punishments? What punishments?
We are gifted with our words, and thus we can talk our way out of pretty much anything. I think I was grounded all of two times for the majority of my childhood, because along with our parents being authority figures, they are also our best friends and they hate seeing us sad.
They also hate not being able to watch the TV shows they want to watch with you or to tell you something that they think is very important. Therefore, if you are grounded, it is rarely from something like TV or your phone. Which is really a very nice perk.
8."I'm not controlling, you are just doing it wrong."
Just love us through this one and call us on it when necessary. Honestly, 75 percent of the only children I know work very hard to stop this from becoming a constant issue. But really, we are sorry. We mean no harm.
Us only children truly do come in peace.
