For every introvert and every extrovert there is one person who fits nicely into neither column; for our purposes, we will call these people awkward extroverts (though you may call them comfortable introverts; I am not one to decide for you).
As with being an extrovert or an introvert, falling somewhere in the middle comes with its own set of unique problems. Let’s examine some of them below.
We like to talk about Type A and Type B personalities—and we have neither: While of course the idea of Type A and Type B personalities was never supposed to be used like it is, we too often label people as one or the other, which in turn makes those of us who do not fall under A or B uncomfortable. We feel pressure to change ourselves, usually to be more “Type A,” when that is simply not how our minds work.
We are constantly battling our desire for recognition and our fear of being recognized—On the surface, these two ideas appear to be the same thing. However, they are not. When the awkward extrovert does something worthy of recognition, he or she will often both desire to be recognized, to hear his or her own name be commended, but we also live in fear of that moment. The rush of blood to the ears, the fidgeting with the thumbs. It’s all too much. In a perfect world all praise would come in the form of mass email.
Public speaking on the fly is too much to handle and no one seems to get that—For me, the easiest way to ease my nerves is to write what I am going to say before I say it. I always try to do that, especially when I have to speak French for any length of time. I sound fluid and confident and poised because my internal panic is calmed by not having to think about what I am going to say. As a result, groups tend to put me and others like me in charge of presenting projects, which is absolutely knee-shakingly terrifying and not a good idea unless you want a speech full of “ums” and “likes” and potentially a brief fainting spell.
We are great at conversation until we are put in a large group of strangers—Sorority recruitment was not a difficult thing for me. I know my strong suits and my weaknesses and I can make conversation with a brick so long as that brick has an obligation to listen to me. I picked three chapters on the first night of recruitment that I wanted to return to for preference day, and I returned to those three chapters. However, the following weeks did not go as well for me. With only myself to blame, I made few close friends and struggled to come out of my shell. It has taken time for me to warm up to everyone enough to be comfortable, and now that I have my friendships have flourished and I have been much happier.
We, much like introverts, love to cancel plans— Oh, the sweet sweet feeling of cancelled plans. Our schedules open up to a realm of new possibilities! The books we could read, the teas we could drink, the workouts we could do, the homework we could get ahead on; and we don’t even have to take off our sweatpants.
If we don’t cancel the plans, you better know we’re leaving early— On the evenings that our friends manage to drag us out of our homes and out to parties, we wonder why we bothered going in the first place. It’s loud, it smells bad, there’s some drunken guy hitting on you, and you could be at home. Asleep. Wearing sweatpants. We are home before midnight 3 out of 4 nights we try to go out.
Sometimes it’s less awkward just to be an introvert—I was raised in a family that was weirdly friendly to strangers. As a result, I am still weirdly friendly to strangers, but I cannot prevent my comments about the weather, surroundings, or awkward things I am doing from coming out of my mouth. For example, I once walked from the parking garage to my dorm carrying a formal dress in a garment bag over my head because I could not find another way to carry it and my heavy, handleless brown paper bag from Fazoli’s at the same time. Naturally, I passed two members of another sorority, and grunted some kind of joke about how I had not thought through my choice of fast food, which elicited the awkward laughing that usually denotes that someone is strange. That is only one of many examples of my inability to shut my mouth making me extraordinarily uncomfortable, and I fear that my list of those stories will only continue to get longer.
Awkward extroverts of the world, I wish you the best of luck. It is hard and we are underrepresented. Push through, comrades. And to the rest of you, please humor us when we make you uncomfortable. Please and thank you.
