1.Trust is everything...

If you don’t completely trust the person you’re invested in, it’s impossible to have a healthy relationship. You should feel confident that when your significant other says they’re hanging with their friend, that’s what’s really happening. You don’t want to be the person checking your partner’s phone or asking loaded questions, because let’s be real, no one wants to date that.

2. ...So is honesty

Trust and honesty go hand-in-hand, but aren’t the same thing. Honesty is being able to ask a question and know you’re getting a straight answer, while trust is not having to ask at all. But sometimes things come up and if it’s bothering you, you should feel comfortable bringing it up.

3. When people say that they’ll treat you the same way they treat their mom, they’re right.

Listen to the way they talk about and interact with the one who should be the most important woman in their life, their mother (or any guardian for that matter). These things can be very revealing about the way they’ll be treating you. Their mom doesn’t know they went to that party last night? You probably don’t either.

4. Don’t always say it’s OK.

If something is wrong, speak up. You’re your own best advocate. Your significant other should know if they’ve done something that rubs you the wrong way. Bringing it to their attention is the first step to fix it. This can always be done in a constructive way.

5. Compromise is necessary...

You are two different people, and that’s great. But it also means you probably have different tastes. Sometimes you’re going to have listen to country music or see that new movie you thought looked dumb. These little things show you care and they should be willing to do the same for you.

6. ...and so is sacrifice.

Sometimes compromise isn’t enough and there’s something that you just can’t find a common ground on. This is when you have to decide what’s more important, your relationship or this thing that’s upsetting my loved one? You’ll know the answer.

7. Trust your gut!

If you have a weird feeling, don’t discredit it. In my experience, when I think something is wrong, it is. Trust yourself. Your intuition is more in tune than you’ll ever know.

8. Always put in effort

Just because you’ve been with someone for a long time doesn’t mean you get to stop trying. Say that extra “I love you,” surprise them with a coffee, or take them on an unexpected date. This shows your significant other they’re still your number one.

9. Never underestimate the power of silence.

Whether this silence is because you’re being a good listener or is in place of words that need to be said, each speaks volumes and will impact your relationship.

10. Be there for the important stuff.

You always need to make time for the ones you love, no matter what. If something is important to them, it should be important to you. Nothing says “I value you” more than making time to support them and being present.

11. You don’t have to be friends with all of their friends.

You and your S.O. should have your own friends! It’s not healthy to spend every second together, and you should maintain your independence. However, it’s fundamental to put in effort and respect the people they see as friends. If you all really care about your partner, you’ll make it work. And if the discord is too much, a bigger decision needs to be made.

12. Let sleeping dogs lie.

It’s a skill to know when to let things go. Asking unnecessary personal questions or bringing up things that have been sore subjects is only going to make you feel bad in the present about things you can’t change in the past. See your significant other for the person they are now, the one who makes you happy.

13. Know when to walk away.

Sometimes things just simply aren’t working. When it’s at the point where you know it isn’t going to get better, it isn’t fair to either of you to stay in that relationship. It may be you, or them, or other circumstances altogether, and that’s OK. It doesn’t mean you don’t care about them anymore; it’s more because you care about them. It should be a hard decision to make, but the bottom line is you both deserve to be happy.

14. Respect each other.

Before, during, and after the relationship, you should always be respectful to the person you shared so much of your life with. They trusted you, opened up to you, and let themselves be vulnerable. Don’t make them regret it.