They say college is where you learn a lot about the type of person you are. It's where you learn what you need to work on about yourself . And let me tell you, with the stress of finals, papers, trying to make friends, and avoiding getting homesick, you don't have much time to notice how much you're changing. Then you experience the day where it all hits you, where you finally realize who you are versus who you want to be. For me, that day was precisely last Monday.
College comes with various obstacles, many of which I've never had to deal with until now. I've always known I'm afraid of conflict and being a very short girl, it's easy to imagine why standing up to people has never been my strong suit. I've also always known that I care about what other people think...a lot. I have learned a lot about myself and one day that fact hit me like a ton of bricks. I know you may think "Why would someone admit to having all these weaknesses?" but this is my way of acknowledging them and learning how to transform them. I've learned that if I don't like what someone says to me, it's okay to stand up for what I think, even if it makes them mad. If they stay mad then I don't need them around me anyways. That is how you find the right people to be around; it's those who accept you for staying true to yourself instead of trying to constantly please others.
The struggles of being a college student have also taught me that you aren't compatible with everyone, and that is totally okay because you can't force people to like you. As my mother always told me "you don't have to be best friends, as long as you're respectable and polite, you're doing okay." I really hadn't understood that until now. She is right, as mothers always are (thanks Mom!), and when I think of what she told me, it reminds me that I don't have to try so hard to please everyone all the time.
The last thing I've learned about myself that I'll share with you all is my exceptional ability to worry. Night or day, rain or shine, I'm always thinking about if I'm doing this whole "college" thing right. Luckily, the day where everything hit me like a ton of bricks included this thought: nobody is like you. So nobody knows if you're doing things right. There is no such thing as doing college "right" because everyone's definition is different. So stop analyzing and planning and being scared because things will happen and whether they are good or bad, as long as you keep trying, you will be okay. I know, I sound like a self help book, but this is what happens in college, you live and you learn...a lot. And I'm proud of myself for figuring out what I need to work on, because in my opinion, that's what doing college "right" looks like.
